Arnold Schwarzenegger
One complete fucking badass who totally fucking deserves his own list of outrageous facts like Chuck Norris. I mean seriously.
Example:
1. When Arnold Schwarzenegger once won a weightlifting competition, he celebrated his victory by eating his barbell, processing and melting the barbell in his stomach, and then crapping red-hot liquid metal out his anus.
2. Arnold Schwarzenegger always puts a shitload of plutonium in his steroids whenever he uses them.
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger only needs a single witty one-liner in his speeches to prove his point. And to win the ENTIRE population of the state of California.
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger can crush bowling balls with his fingers.
5. Arnold Schwarzenegger considers all other men to be girly-men.
6. When Chuck Norris had sex inside a tractor-trailer, some of his sperm got into the truck's engine. We now know that truck as Optimus Prime. Incidentally, a similar situation occurred when Arnold Schwarzenegger had sex inside a tank. We now know that tank as MEGATRON!
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger can eat a Rubik's Cube and crap it out solved.
8. Despite being exceptionally skilled with every weapon in the world, the guns that Arnold Schwarzenegger mainly prefers to use are his right and left biceps.
9. Arnold Schwarzenegger can solve complex mathematical equations with his muscles. All he needs to do is remove certain people he dislikes from said equations.
10. Bill Gates lives in constant fear of the possibility of Arnold Schwarzenegger's PC crashing.
11. Arnold Schwarzenegger ejaculates in gallons.
12. Arnold Schwarzenegger can suffocate a man to death with his accent.
13. When you're out in the wilderness and/or near a body of water, don't say anything bad about Arnold Schwarzenegger, otherwise he'll come out of nowhere with his M60 machine gun already firing.
14. There are only four horsemen of the Apocalypse because Arnold Schwarzenegger don't need no horse!
15. Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't use condoms. He uses live rattlesnakes.
16. Arnold Schwarzenegger can create miniature black holes by very, very, VERY tightly squeezing any object into a subatomic state with his hands.
17. Arnold Schwarzenegger can down several bottles of Everclear and never get wasted.
18. Arnold Schwarzenegger is 1 part man, 2 parts muscle, 3 parts charisma, and 100 parts AWESOME!
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Now let's see you make up your own list of facts about Herr Arnold. I bet you can do this better than I can.
1. When Arnold Schwarzenegger once won a weightlifting competition, he celebrated his victory by eating his barbell, processing and melting the barbell in his stomach, and then crapping red-hot liquid metal out his anus.
2. Arnold Schwarzenegger always puts a shitload of plutonium in his steroids whenever he uses them.
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger only needs a single witty one-liner in his speeches to prove his point. And to win the ENTIRE population of the state of California.
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger can crush bowling balls with his fingers.
5. Arnold Schwarzenegger considers all other men to be girly-men.
6. When Chuck Norris had sex inside a tractor-trailer, some of his sperm got into the truck's engine. We now know that truck as Optimus Prime. Incidentally, a similar situation occurred when Arnold Schwarzenegger had sex inside a tank. We now know that tank as MEGATRON!
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger can eat a Rubik's Cube and crap it out solved.
8. Despite being exceptionally skilled with every weapon in the world, the guns that Arnold Schwarzenegger mainly prefers to use are his right and left biceps.
9. Arnold Schwarzenegger can solve complex mathematical equations with his muscles. All he needs to do is remove certain people he dislikes from said equations.
10. Bill Gates lives in constant fear of the possibility of Arnold Schwarzenegger's PC crashing.
11. Arnold Schwarzenegger ejaculates in gallons.
12. Arnold Schwarzenegger can suffocate a man to death with his accent.
13. When you're out in the wilderness and/or near a body of water, don't say anything bad about Arnold Schwarzenegger, otherwise he'll come out of nowhere with his M60 machine gun already firing.
14. There are only four horsemen of the Apocalypse because Arnold Schwarzenegger don't need no horse!
15. Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't use condoms. He uses live rattlesnakes.
16. Arnold Schwarzenegger can create miniature black holes by very, very, VERY tightly squeezing any object into a subatomic state with his hands.
17. Arnold Schwarzenegger can down several bottles of Everclear and never get wasted.
18. Arnold Schwarzenegger is 1 part man, 2 parts muscle, 3 parts charisma, and 100 parts AWESOME!
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Now let's see you make up your own list of facts about Herr Arnold. I bet you can do this better than I can.