Computer Science

Is the in depth studies of the math and algorithms that are commonly used in computer systems and Computer Science will:A) ruin your GPA...B) make you hate your computer...C) make your eyes bleed from reading too much code...D) make you hate math and all things related to it...F) not teach you how to make cool video games...G) not teach you how to make neat animations...H) teach you equations that hurt your head...I) make you want to become a more violent person...J) will make you gain weight from lack of movement...K) ruin any chance of a college social life...L) may be a cause of long term depression...M) may make you suicidal!



computer science
The study of making porn more readily available, to make it easier and faster to download, and to make what you're looking for easier to find.
Example:


computer science
A form of sadistic torture commonly used in universities, businesses and some high schools.
Common symptoms of torture from computer science are:
1. Hating computers and everything related to them.
2. Pulling your hair our after trying to understand error messages.
3. Extreme anger as a result of the computer being an asshole that takes everything literally.
4. Loss of motivation/apathy towards work
Example:
Ex. 1:
John: "Hey Bill, I thought you majored in computer science. Why are you working at McDonalds? You could be making a lot of money doing that shit."
Bill: "Well, I did get offered a job in a firm that pays 250k a year but I decided I would rather kill myself and cut off my testicles before I actually work with computers again. Fuck computers and fuck computer science."

Ex. 2:
Henry looked back at his choice to become a cs major with anguish. Ever since he declared cs a major, he has gained 200 pounds in the past 4 years, is completely pale and still has acne at age 22. Also, hes a virgin. This is the result of having to spend nearly 10 hours a day writing useless programs and trying to understand computer code. While his college friends were out getting laid, getting drunk, smoking weed, partying and doing a shit ton of awesome drugs, Henry was stuck in front of his computer trying to figure out why his program won't compile.

Ex. 3:
Gail stares intently at his computer screen. "I almost got it," he mutters to himself. "There it is! Eureka!" Now I can finally work on something else.

What we have hear is Gail mulling over a problem in one of his programs. But, what you don't know is that Gail has been working on the same 4 lines of code for 78 hours as a result of some fucktarded error message that he kept receiving.

Ex. 4:
"I can't wait to go to my Java class today!! It's filled with nothing but hot girls!" -said no one ever


computer science
"CS"

The magical major where you have to write a program the night before it is due while your friends are playing poker and getting laid.

Forces you to take 3 semesters of calculus. This is not good.
Example:
I did fine in CS, but I failed calculus and lost my scholarship.


computer science
Computer major for
1) Hardcore computer people who want power Power POWER!
2) Masochistic individual who enjoys punishing himself
3) One who wants to become a programmer

Don't confuse a CS msjor for one who majors in Information Systems, or "Lazy Man's CS". Information Systems is more similar to majoring in Word.
Example:
LA LA LA LA LA, I'm in computer science, I want to be a programmer, yeah, that's it school, rape my ass! Bastards.


computer science
Computer science is the study of the storage, transformation and transfer of information. The field encompasses both the theoretical study of algorithms (including their design, efficiency and application) and the practical problems involved in implementing them in terms of computer software and hardware.
Computer science has its roots primarily in the fields of electrical engineering (i.e., electronics), mathematics and linguistics. It is still a relatively young field, mainly because it was only about a half century ago that electronics technology became sufficiently advanced to allow the construction of even primitive electronic computing devices.
Example:
In computer science, scientists apply concepts and techniques of computation, algorithms and computer design to a specific problem.


Computer science
A bullshit field of study which will cancel any plans you have made (or will make) in order to sit there and go over error messages over and over again. And when you finally do manage to get your code to compile, you're already half-dead from lack of sleep, your face is oily asf from all that caffeine and sweets that you've been eating because lack of sleep is giving you pregnancy cravings, and your back hurts like a mf from sitting on your ass all day and night. Getting your code to compile is only half the battle. You also have to make sure your assignments get past your instructor's plagiarism check which is stupid because none of the TA's actually go through and look at the code by hand; it's done with software. Don't major in CS folks. Do something that will reward you in life!
Example:
"I used to be a computer science major until I lost my gains, got acne after it was gone for years, and missed a lot of events that I coulda gone to, but didn't cuz I was reading over my code. And when I did go to those events, I still got points deducted even though I studied the material on my phone during the bus and rail rides. I'm in chemistry now. I couldn't be happier (and am also in the best shape of my life!)!"

"I quit CS. Best thing I've ever done."


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