Deploy

to release; to send out



Deployed
It's like when you move past someone on the bus and there's not enough room so your crotch rubs against their behind and you're too lazy to twist yourself so that they won't feel the protrusion but at the same time you're not actually intending to molest them so you just let it happen and hope they'll ignore it.
Example:
"God, it's so crowded, I hope this girl understands if I stand here deployed."

Girl: "Did his dick just graze the back of my leg!?" *vomits*


deployed
To distribute persons systematically or strategically to a remote part of the planet with limited resources leaving them to their own resourcefulness, skill, strength and intestinal fortitude to return to their native habitat in one piece.
Example:
Your buddy woke up in Tunisia with a pair of ripped levi jeans, one air jordan and one pump sneaker both different sizes, a pencil, 4 grapes a fur coat and a rubberband with only 16 dollars and 81 cents in his pocket.

Sounds like somebody deployed him.

Yeah man, yeah, he probably screwed someone real bad to deserve that.

Hope he could remember his credit card number.


deploy
1. To get destroyed.

2. To get messed up really bad.

3. To send off.

Example:
1. For example when someone snowboarding goes off a jump or just in general falls on their face and crashes huge. And you witness and then you yell, "DEPLOY!"

An other example would be when you're the passenger of a car and the driver almost hits the curve, you yell "DEPLOY!"

(These are just yelled with nothing too special.)

2. For example after you have packed a bowl and knock it over, you would then say, "deploy"

(This is said in a medium tone and when you get to the "oy" part is starts to trail off like--> DEplooyyyyy.......)

3. This would be a case when you would also say deploy, when you're about to plummet, or drop in. So just before you go you'd say, "deploy"

(This is said short and punctional.)


Deploy the Slide
Over-reacting to workplace stress and quitting in a dramatic fashion. Named for the Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater who, after an altercation with an especially rude passenger in August 2010, cursed out the passenger, grabbed two beers and exited the plane parked on the runway via the emergency inflatable slide.
Example:
Did you hear about Mikey? He got so fed up at work today, he dropped trou and told his boss to kiss his ass! What a way to deploy the slide.


Deploy ordinance
Sheen-inspired euphemism for a prodigious bowel movement. Created to replace "morning glory" which is also used to describe a male's morning erection - a source of considerable confusion.
Example:
Coworker: Hold that thought - I just finished my coffee and it's time to deploy my ordinance.

Roommate: You may want to use the restroom before me, I'm about to deploy some ordinance on some soft targets.

Dump-dialed friend: I can't believe I'm on the phone with you as you deploy ordinance.

Medical student: Gross, that patient just deployed ordinance while I was trying to collect a history.


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