Eat my shit!
An even more vulgar alternative to saying "Kiss my ass!" when you are really pissed off at someone who did something to you that you didn't like, or when you can't think of a more original and witty comeback to use on someone who's insulting and/or threatening you. When you say this, you either may or may not attempt to make that person do said action.
Example:
(scene from Nick D's mid high school years in which he was a badass black gangsta kid who got all da bitchez and was a pain in the ass among the school faculty, staff, and administration)
Principal: Well Nick you have been a chronic problem for a while now. Disrupting the learning enviroment by being a wiseass in class, bullying kids whom you consider lesser forms of human beings, getting into fights, offering drugs, and there have even been rumors of you engaging in some secret sexual activity with your so-called "girlfriends." For all of these atrocities, I am to take you down a peg or two by placing you in strict detention for the remainder of THIS YEAR! You get the point, huh son? HUH!?
Young Nick D: Eat my shit!
Principal: Well then you are expelled from this school FOREVER!! Officer, please escort this young man out of school. We'll make sure he'll never come back to cause more trouble.
*school resource officer grabs and drags Nick D away while Nick struggles and says "Fuck you, you narc-ass pig!" therefore making the cop pull out his Taser...*
_______________________
(Mark H is using the men's room to drop a huge-ass deuce when he becomes suddenly startled upon seeing a fat middle-aged man wearing all pink climb into his stall and threaten him with the intention of brutal rape)
Fat guy: (in a southern accent) Well, lookee what we have here! You shoulda been more carefull in yer choice of stall! Look what I scribbled on the wall beside you.
Mark H: *turns around and sees the message "Free hot gay sex! Come here at 5:30 pm to suck my Texas-sized shlong and get your shit rammed in the wrong direction!" scrawled on the wall beside him in the stall.*
Mark H: (checking his watch to find out that is already 5:30 pm) *Gulp!*
Fat gay guy: Yeah that's right ya yellow-bellied dolly Mexican boy!*smirking with his mouth full of rotten teeth* Aint no way out for ya here! Yer my bitch now an' I'm gunna pin you down an' unfurl the tripod on yer chilli can!
Mark H: Well then eat my shit, you worthless fudge packer! *brutally struggles with the obese gay man, finding him to be a piss-poor brawler and then ultimately judo-flipping him head-first into the toilet*
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.
(scene from Nick D's mid high school years in which he was a badass black gangsta kid who got all da bitchez and was a pain in the ass among the school faculty, staff, and administration)
Principal: Well Nick you have been a chronic problem for a while now. Disrupting the learning enviroment by being a wiseass in class, bullying kids whom you consider lesser forms of human beings, getting into fights, offering drugs, and there have even been rumors of you engaging in some secret sexual activity with your so-called "girlfriends." For all of these atrocities, I am to take you down a peg or two by placing you in strict detention for the remainder of THIS YEAR! You get the point, huh son? HUH!?
Young Nick D: Eat my shit!
Principal: Well then you are expelled from this school FOREVER!! Officer, please escort this young man out of school. We'll make sure he'll never come back to cause more trouble.
*school resource officer grabs and drags Nick D away while Nick struggles and says "Fuck you, you narc-ass pig!" therefore making the cop pull out his Taser...*
_______________________
(Mark H is using the men's room to drop a huge-ass deuce when he becomes suddenly startled upon seeing a fat middle-aged man wearing all pink climb into his stall and threaten him with the intention of brutal rape)
Fat guy: (in a southern accent) Well, lookee what we have here! You shoulda been more carefull in yer choice of stall! Look what I scribbled on the wall beside you.
Mark H: *turns around and sees the message "Free hot gay sex! Come here at 5:30 pm to suck my Texas-sized shlong and get your shit rammed in the wrong direction!" scrawled on the wall beside him in the stall.*
Mark H: (checking his watch to find out that is already 5:30 pm) *Gulp!*
Fat gay guy: Yeah that's right ya yellow-bellied dolly Mexican boy!*smirking with his mouth full of rotten teeth* Aint no way out for ya here! Yer my bitch now an' I'm gunna pin you down an' unfurl the tripod on yer chilli can!
Mark H: Well then eat my shit, you worthless fudge packer! *brutally struggles with the obese gay man, finding him to be a piss-poor brawler and then ultimately judo-flipping him head-first into the toilet*
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.