Indiana Jones

The baddest mother fucker in all of the land. Can dodge big ass rocks, fist-fight nazis, babysit asian children, ride huge fucking elephants, swim sewers, fuck bitches, and get hitlers autograph. Nonetheless, he is a bitch when it comes to snakes.



Indiana Jones
Gentlemen, we must educate ourselves. This was not a movie, Indiana Jones was a real person. And the things that went on therein, was all in real time, that is to say, it all actually happend the first time everyone seen it.
Example:
As I am typing this, Indiana Jones is more than likely out in the Aztec, fighting off generic enemies with spears. All by himself.


Indiana Jones
One of the coolest film heroes of all time, born in Princeton, New Jersey in 1899 (Indy not Harrison Ford), probably the best known archeologist in the world, Indy isn't official called Indiana but rather Henry Jones Jnr, but he was very fond of the family dog, Indiana so he became known as Indiana, his dad insists he is called Junior and this angers Indy as we find out in The Last Crusade, during the war he and his MI6 buddy, Hale, went on many adventures to stop the Nazis and Japanese getting sources of paranormal power, e.g in Indiana Jones and the Army of the Dead, Jones and Hale travel to Haiti to stop an army of undead! In 1947, he defeated the Babylonian god, Marduk (please play Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine) and in 1957 he went in search of his friend, Harold Oxley who had lost his marbles and ended up finding a crystal skull, which if returned gives the returner a "gift", to know everything and found he had a son (Mutt Williams a.k.a Herny Jones III), Mutt wasn't happy about this early on but it sunk in. During the 90's he still travelled, much to the opposition of his family, who thought he should settle down at nearly 100, and was a lecturer, and was willing to share stories of his youth with anyone who would listen.
Example:
a cool archeologist,

henry jones snr-we named the dog Indiana

Sallah-The dog?, you were named after a dog!?

Indiana Jones- I was very fond of that dog

Marcus Brody- Can we go home now?

(the last few lines of The Last Crusade)


Indiana Jones
To duck under an automatic garage door while it's closing (usually because you're the last person to leave a house & don't have keys with you)
Example:
No, I'll just Indiana Jones the garage door


Indiana Jones
While two fingers are in the vagina, they are slowly slid out while the penis is simultaneously slid in, making the seamless transition to sexual intercourse. It is reminiscent of the beginning of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" when Indy simultaneously switches the bag of sand with the golden idol.
Example:
1. I wasn't sure Suzy was down to fuck, but after I gave her the Indiana Jones, she had no choice but to accept it.

2. I never knew how to make the transition from foreplay to sex, but now that I've learned the Indiana Jones, I'm getting my dick wet much more often.

Sex Intercourse Vagina Dick Finger


Indiana Jones
verb; the act of passing your body through a closing door, as opposed to holding it, leaving another individual with the horrible fate of having to take the effort to open it. As seen in Indiana Jones(except you'll look like a douche if you drop your hat or if you do it when your alone).
Example:
Smith: So are you going to start on that report?
Jones: Yeah, I need that promotion so it's got to be good.
Smith: Oh could you you get that?
Jones: HELL NAW MUTHAFUCKA!
(Initiates Indiana Jones)
Jones from opposite side of door: Indiana Jones'd BIOTCH!


Indiana Jones
Nickname for someone in the center of a wall of death. There's only so much time to reach the side of said wall of death before getting sandwich fucked by a bunch of sweaty dudes.
Example:
Larry - "Dude, did you see that fat guy running as fast as he could from the middle of the pit?"

Johnson - "Yeah, he totally pulled an Indiana Jones!"


Indiana Jones
Sexual act: beginning a tongue-punching event with your partner(s) by partner A (receiving end) releasing a fart and at the same time partner B (performer) replacing the displaced air (the fart) with their tongue into the butthole.
Example:
Chick: Hey babe, I totally want you to lick my asshole
Dude: Totally, as long as I get to eat your fart, you know, Indiana Jones style.


Indiana Jones
Whilst getting a blowy, you pull out, lower your dick to the side and whip it across her face, all the while making a "whipping" sound, gracefully adding "It's Mr. Jones bitch!" This all takes place as the Indy theme song blares in the background.
Example:
After picking a chick up at the club, she started giving me a shitty blowjob, so I had to Indiana Jones that bitch.


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