Java

Java! A different Word for Coffee.



Java
A programming language praised for its versatility and multiplatform support; however, also carrying ridiculous amounts of overhead, using a fuckton of system resources, and generally being a pain in the ass to program in.
Example:
Praising Java for fitting on many platforms is like praising anal sex for fitting both sexes.


Java
A Object Oriented programming language. This language is the easiest to use. Coders do not have to understand pointers or references. They do not have to manage memory on the stack or heap. Its a programming language for complete idiots. It was written in C++

Java has draw backs. It cannot be used in system programming, or device driver development or kernel development (C and C++ are used). All applications developed in java run in a virtual machine. In addition Java applications are so bloated they take extreme amounts of memory to run, and they require extreme amounts of processing power for their virtual machines.
Example:
class HelloWorldApp {

public static void main(String args) {

System.out.println("Hello World!"); // Display the string.

}
}

The Freak of programming nature Java.


Java
A slow, horrific language that takes a shit on everything that made C++ good in order to be easier to use. Ironically, it's harder and more frustrating.
Example:
Java: Oh boy, let's have fun with our interpreter, garbage collector, and enforced bad Object-Oriented practices!

C++: You're a horrible person and you should feel bad.


Java
Slang for anal sex. Javascript works across all systems, as anal sex works across all people. Hence: Java=Anal Sex.
Example:
Ex 1: Dude, I convinced her to have java with me last night. It was so awesome until her IBS kicked in. I'm still scraping chocolate pudding off of my popsicle stick.

Ex2: Oh gross! Those two guys are having java in public in BROAD DAYLIGHT!


Java
1. Could quite possibly be considered the shittiest "programming language" there is. Scripts (not programs) written in this language are emulated through a virtual machine. Basically a crapped up BASIC language, except slower and more complex.

2. Programming course that Freshmans take in high school to make themselves feel intelligent for programming a computer, when all they're really doing is making a simple script that's interpreted at runtime by a virtual machine.

3. Coffee.
Example:
1. Java is so shitty it should be illegal

2. Liek omgz, I kan liek h4xx0rz governments mainframes

3. I'm going to get some Java


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