Lycra

They're the people who buy very expensive bikes, wear tons of Lycra with way too much gadgetry and gear all over their clothes and bikes and don't obey the rules of the road. More money than brains, gadgetry than skills, they never use hand signals, they ride doubles / triples / quadruples down narrow roads in car lanes and disobey "share the road" rules. They make other cyclists look bad. They're into the idea of cycling but don't actually live it or know anything about it. It's a status symbol to them that only other lycras think is impressive.



lycra
Lycra is a fetish where a man urinates into the woman's LEFT nostril and it would have to come out of the Right tear duct. My girlfriend loves it. You should try it!
Example:
I performed Lycra on my girlfriend and as the piss ran down her cheek, she started to stick out her tounge and lick it right off.


Lycra Lout
Adjective: A collective term that has come into being to describe those who, more often than not clad in figure-hugging brightly coloured stretchy materials, flout road laws and common sense, by riding their bikes on public roads (and pavements/side walks) without any consideration for other road users and/or pedestrians.
Example:
Examples of Lycra Lout behaviour include running red lights (both road junction and pedestrian crossing points), vulgar gestures and language to almost anyone who gets in their way, and sometimes even unwarranted and unprovoked violent behaviour towards anyone having the gall to question their actions (esp. pedestrians and motorists).


no lights no lycra
An alt. exercise night (which originated in Melbourne Australia in 2009) where you dance unselfconsciously in badly-lit rooms without mirrors. "There is no light, no lycra, no teacher, no steps to learn, no technique, just free movement."
Example:
"Wanna hit the gym?"

"No way, with this beer gut it's No Lights No Lycra or nothin' for me."


lycra wanker
Those wankers on bikes who think they are Chris Hoy, but are in fact middle age accountants and are shit bike riders
Example:
Jon - look at that wanker on that bike
Robin - yes, what a lycra wanker....


Lycra Pimp
Those cyclist or outdooor types who think weraing lycra is good thing to do.

and not just content with just wearing lycra, such as a Lycra Bandit, these people try and promote it!!!

After cycling round country lanes, a lycra bandit would leave it at that, but not a Lycra pimp, these people will walk down the high street wearing the tightest lycra that twiggy never would have squeezed into, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU'RE FACE, as though they expect you to respect them for it... they will walk into a shop, go to the counter, then strike some mail order catalogue pose before asking directions to the toilet.

Avoid lycra pimps at all costs, I heard one guy touched one and fell into a coma for three weeks... and his hand fell off. (and that was only a mild lycra pimp)
Example:
DudeA: I think I'll go for a nice stroll...
DudeB: Nah, the Lycra pimps is out today, close all the windows, lock the doors, get down to the basement or we're all gonna die!!!!!!!!



DudeA: oh, you're SO right....


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