Scruff McGruff
An anthropomorhphic cartoon dog who fights crime and solves mysteries. Gives out free comic books via the mail on how to avoid things like "getting your ass kicked".
Example:
"For a free comic book, mail me, Scruff McGruff, Chicago Illinois, 60652, and help take a BITE out of CRIME!"
"For a free comic book, mail me, Scruff McGruff, Chicago Illinois, 60652, and help take a BITE out of CRIME!"