Sex Act

Sex acts are what people make up, give cute names, and submit to urban dictionary. May or may not be in that order.



canadian sex acts
Various different sexual positions and acts, mostly including maple syrup, beavers or riding a Mountie on the back of a Zamboni.
Example:
Last night my boyfriend tried out one of the old canadian sex acts, he gave me an Old King Clancy.


commodore sex act
Basically, what a bad boy would get leaning over a desk looking out over the carpark.

The bed's an option for a softer minded fellow.
Example:
What's she needing from the hotel's bathroom, am I about to get pegged by complimentary hairshampoo?

Oh wait, it's a COMMODORE SEX ACT, OH SHIIIIIIT!


ethnic sex act
1. A vulgar sex act that follows the naming convention of placing an ethnic adjective next to a seemingly innocuous, everyday word. Often, the theme of the sex act will be constant with the ethnicity, for example, often linking Greek with anally related acts and Russian with extremely violent sex acts.
Example:
Notable Ethnic Sex Acts:

Mexican Avalanche
Greek Ram-rod
Russian Cockblock
Spanish Blindfold
French Bagel
English Breakfast
Italian Foot Bone
{insert ethnicity here} {insert random everyday word here}


commodore sex act
The "commodore" (a sex act) is where the female enters the male from behind with a warm wash cloth.
Example:
Tina gave Raymond Raymond Quentin Smuckles a commodore sex act at the hotel. Ray was a nice boy and wanted his commodore on the bed, whereas a nasty boy would get HIS commodore over the desk, looking out over the parking lot.


impossible sex acts
Sex acts, that appear to be impossible. Duh.
Example:
An example of one of the many impossible sex acts is corn holing your partner from 100m away with a blind fold on your face.


Canadian Sex Act
A long form, improvised joke — rarely told on stage — like The Aristocrats, but it involves Mike Myers, Wayne Gretzky and the corpse of Alan Thicke. The punchline is always… “So the Mountie turns to the Prime Minister’s wife and says, ‘now that’s what I call a Canadian Sex Act.’”
Example:
The classic Canadian Sex Act is rarely performed in public. It’s usually done amongst a bunch of comedians late at night, after hours when some speculates about the cleanliness of the Prime Minister’s wife’s beaver.


Urban Dictionary sex act
A sex act invented in a thought experiment by two stoned virgins and popularized via Urban Dictionary. No human being, alive or dead, has ever actually performed this sex act, but it has attained a degree of cultural currency through shock value.
Example:
Stoner 1: Dude... like... what if you, like, went to titty-bang a girl, but then totally took a dump and then sat in it?
Stoner 2: Baahahaha hahaha haha ha ha hahaha ha we should call that a Cleveland steamer!
Stoner 1: Uh... why?
Stoner 2: Because, like, the poop would steam if it's cold out... and it's like Cleveland!
Stoner 1: Hahahaha yeah totally. This is going to be the best Urban Dictionary sex act ever.


blow pops (sex act)
The act of having your dick sucked in such a manner that the person sucking you dick inserts it entirely into their mouth and throat, slowly drags it out (sucking on it firmly all the while) then pulls the head out of their mouth as they continue to suck firmly on it, producing a loud popping sound.
Example:
"My girl gave me blow pops (sex act) last night, it was fucking amazing. Blew a huge load all over her face."


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