The Lord

God is a real angel, he is the King of everything, and you can't stop him from doing good, he never sins ever, and never has, he gives us Christians eternal life. He has billions of armies made from angels, his kingdom is more smaller than just a speck of dust, but its holding more angels than you can count. He is a King of light. He is unstoppable. Even though us Christians might sin, its not like everyone is perfect, God knows some people say that "Christians do sin when they go to church" and mean junk like that, but no one is perfect, no one seems to understand that. But God always Forgives, no matter what happens, God does get angry. But not Evil.



The Lord
Something that people desperately want to find, yet all that can be seen is a million religions telling you they are right and that their inconsitancies dont matter cause they can make something up to cover it.
Example:
1. This is the true church and people here have found god... that is why they still commit 'sins' and leave the church.

2. We are god's representitives, yet some of us rape little boys and girls

3. This week this passage means this. Dont worry, next week we will change it around to cover our backs.

4. Something good has happened, it is because god loves us.

5. Something terrible has happened, he moves in mysterious ways.


I thought I had found the lord... then I realised it was only another religion. Churches have commited more horrific deeds then can be counted, why should I give my time to them?


The Lord
Our Lord and Savior, Danny DeVito. It is written in the Old Testament “our lord, Danny DeVito hath risen from thy ashes to resurrect vengeance on all those who hath betrayed him” Mathew; 6969
Example:
(Child) hey mom how about we skip church and go to Macdonalds? (Mom) *praying* please the Lord Danny DeVito forgive the boy for he knows not what he says


Lorde
One day, a 45-year old geologist from South Park, Colorado, decided to enter the women's bathroom at work. In there, he realised he had a knack for singing/writing songs, and decided to adapt an alternative on-stage persona, as a 17-year old girl. The result, is Lorde. The rest, is history.
Example:
Dude 1: Dude I totally jacked off to Lorde's performance last night.
Dude 2: Dude...you know it's actually a 45-year old dude?
Dude 1: Yea right, and Tupac is still alive, right?
Tupac: Haha, you gay son.


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