automatic

The automatic transmission is the type of transmission that ALL dealerships THINK everyone wants.



automatic
A transmission commonly known as a "slushbox". One of the most pointless creations that man has ever conceived. Automatic transmissions essentially limit the amount of control one has over the engine, decrease awareness of driving, and shift like concrete in a blender. But slower. Automatic drivers can be spotted either with both hands on the wheel or both hands on the kids at all times. Or asleep. Americans have unfortunately become dependent on automatic transmissions. This is half the reason why they suck at driving. Jesus would drive a manual.
Example:
My brother got an automatic transmission so I disowned him from our family and requested that he be excommunicated from our church.


automatic
A type of car transmission usually found in bumper cars at theme parks and kiddie go-karts. Some people with missing arms or legs drive automatics, although people who dont know how to drive also use them. It takes the skill level of a 3 year old to operate an automatic.
Example:
I got my dad an automatic for his 55th birthday and he beat me within an inch of my life.


automatic
Transmission that is usually found on go-karts, lawnmowers, and chick cars. The driving demographic usually includes women, wusses, and girly men. Any man found driving an automatic transmission is subject to an ass kicking and life-term ridicule.
Example:
A real man drives a manual transmission, not an automatic.


automatic
An automotive transmission created for people missing an arm or a leg.

An automotive transmission for people who do NOT know how to drive.

An automatic transmission is like training wheels on a bike. When you learn how to ride a bike, you lose the training wheels. When you learn how to drive a car, you take the automatic rental back and get a REAL car with a stick shift.
Example:
Damn, Hector, that kid Smedley had the nerve to drive over to take my daughter out in a car with an automatic transmission! Can you believe it? I chased his ass away and told him not to come back until he learns how to drive.

Don't blame you, Simon. Say, maybe your daughter can teach him how to drive a stick shift like a real man.

Great idea, Hector! She likes the kid but won't go out with a wimp to save her life!


automatic
A type of automobile transmission used by old granny ladies, girlie girls, girlie men, and sissy boys.

You can spot cars with automatic transmissions as you drive on any road. The drivers step on the brakes for random cosmic events. If they see a fuzz, they step on the brakes. If they see a car pull up to a side street, they step on the brakes. If they come to an intersection, they step on the brakes. If they see a crow, they step on the brakes.

The repeated brake lights warn all stick shift drivers that a totally incompetent "driver" is operating the car.
Example:
No man with any self respect would ever drive a car with an automatic transmission.


automatic
Automatic transmissions are for people who enjoy the finer things in life. People who drive manuals are generally the poorer in the population, and people who drive automatics, are generally richer. If this is not the case, can you explain why 99% of luxury cars and near enough all modern day sports cars are automatic, or if not, semi-automatic? Also automatic transmissions are the future, look at what we have now - Audi's DSG gearbox, which is a cluchless manual!
Example:
Audi A3 DSG
Audi TT DSG
EVERY ****ing luxury car is automatic!!


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