carpenter
A man who has wood and does things with it.
Carpenters use their tools for such purposes as screwing, drilling, and
reaming. Rubbing and sawing away at old logs are also common activities. Nailing, while definitely an important part of
carpentry, is not nearly as good as screwing. Carpenters also often get glue all over their wood. While carpentry is an important and serious subject - after all, without it, we wouldn't have such things as chairs, desks, tables and doors - the terminology of carpentry is fraught with opportunities to make crass sexual innuendos. Carpenters themselves, of which I am one, exploit these opportunities whenever possible. Jesus was a famous carpenter, but all the jokes were removed by
po-faced editors when he wrote The Bible.
Carpenter
by Bwahaha26 on Jun 04, 2018 23:12:37
Example:
Mary: man my dude is a pussy!
Mary’s friend: bitch you
shoulda got you a
carpenter! My man is the shit. Fixes everything and smashes like a beast!
Mary: well gotta Ditch this
electrician!
carpentize
by Themanmann on Mar 06, 2011 00:39:22
The poorest attempt to convert a noun into a verb, done typically by those who have little understanding of the actual processes of
Carpentry. Often this word is an attempt to replace the term
Sanding or an attempt to shorten a seemingly long descriptive phrase of the
crafting of products through the use of wood.