code of conduct

A code of conduct is a tool to improve the behaviour of brainless slaves. This bible of good behaviour is mostly used by big corporates like Audit firms or BoA where its usual to have low expectations about natural common sense of employees. It can be in written or electronic form.



Armenian Code of Conduct
The set of rules that Armenians (mostly ones originating from Armenia, and not Iran or Lebanon) follow these.

1)Thou shall wear shoes with the tip shaped like the tip of a jalapeno.

2)Thou shall wear Adidas sweatpants with Gucci shoes.

3)Thou shall not cuss in front of women.

4)Thou shall respect their father and mother.

5)*****Thou shall NEVER eat pussy*****

6)Thou shall not have sex with their wives for any reason, other than to have a baby.

7)Thou shall bend down to sit, feet on the ground, but with their butts stuck in air, and a true Armenian CAN MANTAIN THIS POSITION FOR OVER 5 MINUTES!!!

8)Thou shall ALWAYS leave 5 pounds of sunflower seeds on the ground of were they kick it with their brothers.

9)Thou shall no the Armenian Slang Dictionary.

10)Thou shall not shave their legs, chests, arms, etc.

11)Thou shall ALWAYS have a Tupac CD in their car.

12)Thou shall own at least 1 of the following: a BMW, Mercedes Benz, or a Infiniti G35.

13)Thou shall wear sunglasses outside, even when there IS NO SUN!
Example:
Aram broke rule number 5 of the "Armenian Code of Conduct", so WE PUT A GYOTI ACHOT ON HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ara le-car et gyot Aram eh pootz a lezel, bayc inch bozi txa ya che aper ????


Douchebag Code of Conduct
A douchebag must wear or have 3 of the following:

1. Excessively combed hair
2. Sagging Pants
3. One of those combinations of baseball caps and winter hats
4. Unnatural jean colors (e.g red jeans)
5. Skinny jeans
6. Unnecessary skateboard shoes
7. Converses
8. Harry Potter style glasses
9. Backwards hat
10. A t shirt with a loose jacket
11. Or wear a loose-fitting cap

And must do two of the following.....

1. Play Lacrosse
2. Skateboard or Snowboard
3. Wear no shirt half of the time
4. Use hip hop speech (e.g. "yo")
5. Have one girlfriend per week
6. Walk like they have shit in their pants
7. Smoke marijuana
8. Have over 500 facebook friends
9. Wear an earing
10. Call everyone their "son"
Example:
Person A: Yo, you not sagging, you're violating the Douchebag Code of Conduct

Person B: Word Son, I'll fix that


Xbox Code of conduct
When the fine folks down at Microsoft become not so fine, and ban you for some really stupid reasons. It could be temporary, or permanent. When you have served your term of banishment, you come back to find your account haggled over with the sentence, "Code of Conduct". Seriously Microsoft. Grow up.
Example:
When Microsoft banned me for two days, i was out of town, the best part was i didn't know until i saw said sentence "Code of Conduct" so i just had a laughing fit over it at Microsoft's slow reaction time for something that had been reported a long time ago.

Bob's Avatar logo: Coming to kick yo @$$ Bob= Banned 2 days.

Bob: Dammit, Some Mormon family reported me for my whole clans logo.

Bob's new Avatar logo: Let's get those assholes!

Bob: Take that Xbox Code of conduct!


Internet Code of Conduct 57
When matters of kickarse are being discussed, it is proper manners to refer to arse as such.
Example:
"Woah! Johnny! That video with the narwhal beating up the bear kicked ass!"

"No. You mean it kicked arse. Just Remember the Internet Code of Conduct 57"

"Shut up before I kick YOUR arse, Johnny."


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