cupboard

the holiest of holies, the place all men aspire to be. Often paired with large, flappy labia known as "Beef Curtains." The appearance of the Cooter is usually heralded by the distinct reek of low tide.



Cupboarding
The art of cupboarding aka wardrobing ;

In the event of a 'mate' pulling a girl, the 'cupboarder' will recieve notification of the couple's ETA, then promptly strip, conceal themselves in the wardrobe of the 'mate' and wait for the couples arrival. At some crucial moment, with physical activity fully underway, the 'mate' signals for the 'cupboarder' to make their presence felt.

Consequence i) girl gets pissed off and leaves

Consequence ii) Cupboarder is gladly recieved. Cupboarding is a success! Hooray!
Example:
Tom: "Duuude, bringing this girl back to the flat tonight, up for some cupboarding?"

Jason: "sweet, i'll be there."


jew in the cupboard
A jew that is in your cupboard, they usually are male but in some cases have been female. We don't know how they manage to get into the cupboards they are found in but all we know is that they are attracted by the smell of expensive tea/cup sets . If you find a jew in your cupboard you should follow these steps

1. Trap them in the cupboard , use something to block the doors E. G a muscle man/woman, broom etc

2. Alert everyone in the house of the jew in the cupboard and tell them to block the doors on all the remaining cupboards in the house. Jews have been known to chew through walls and make their way to other cupboards within the house.

3. Get anything of sentimental value out of the house E. G kids, money, cars, husband/wife, dog/cat/hampster/crocodile/komodo dragon...

4. Burn the house and everything inside that you left.

If this does not work follow theses steps

1. Run

2. Hide

3. Its coming

4.
Example:
Man: Honey where's my super-suit?
Woman: What?
Man: I said where's... My... Super-suit!
Woman: In the cupboard!
Man: Why is it in the cupboard?
Woman: Just get it!

Man: *opens cupboard * HONEY THERE'S A JEW IN THE CUPBOARD !!


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