divorce

Something that only an idiot can have more than once.



divorce
An event that has become very common in today's society. Affects children more than adults-generally causes the parents to tell their children that "We're still friends" while talking shit about the absent partner and forcing the child to call them to tell them something. It is also the beginning of the introduction of a step-parent (aka demon in most cases) who feels it is their role in life to be a complete ass- all the freakin time.
Example:
me:I don't know a single person whose parents are still married, do you?
Jim: Um..no I don't either, thats bad isnt it?


divorce
This is what happens when the woman realizes that she can't completely change the man she married and thus needs someone new, fresh, and exciting. She knows that he has done nothing wrong and has tried very hard to be a good husband, so she will be very conflicted until she finds another man in which to confide her deepest desires. This new man will give her the confidence she needs to ditch her husband. "All you want is to be happy," the new man will say. This is a successful play by the new man to get into her panties.

Lovesick and out-of-character behavior may ensue by the man in his incredible frustration. Fortunately for the wife, the system is stacked completely in her favor. Half of his savings go to her. She gets a protective order when he tells her what a bitch she is being. Her friends and family move in to protect her from her supposedly vindictive and psychotic ex-husband. The cheating is shrugged off as an afterthought. All is well in her world.
Example:
Raquel: You haven't done anything wrong, but I want a divorce. I found someone all new and shiny. Also, I'd like half of your savings.
David: How could you do this to me? *starts to cry* I deserve better. I was a good husband.
Raquel: Your feelings aren't my concern anymore. We're getting a divorce, remember? By the way, I feel so incredibly loved by the new man it's almost surreal.
David: Fuck you, you ice cold little bitch!
Raquel: That's it, I'm taking a restraining order out on you.
After the restraining order is taken out, David begins to have nightmares. Raquel moves in with her new man and lives happily ever after.


divorce
when two people are too lazy and fucked-up to work it out so they just get a divorce. also is way too common in today' society. people who have had or are going through a divorce will tell you that they have "done everything they can to work it out" but really they haven't becuase if it were true, they wouldnt be getting one. they will also tell you that it is totally the other persons fault, which is ironic because if they arent even willing to admit that they mightve made one little mistake, how are they going to admit more, and this may be the cause of the whole thing. and after your rents divorce, your mother will cry everytime she hears "love" and then expects you to be there for her when shes crying her ass off which is extremely hard cause you dont even want to be around either of them for the rest of your lives. mom will kick dad out and never even talk to him again. only through their kids. they call each other "your mother" or "your father". basically two incredibly fucked-up people taking the easy way out of things without considering the feelings or thoughts of children, parents, and other family.
Example:
my parents are so fucked up they had do get a divorce.


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