the elder
by scro-ton on May 23, 2010 06:57:31
Example:
Me: hey man, my girlfriends complaining because i havent
shaved my sack for a while. It's gettin intense.
Friend: Ah, got the elder eh?
Me: Yeah man she
left me.
Elder
by Elder Berry on Mar 03, 2009 06:09:32
Example:
Two young men knocked on my door. Their names were Elder Young and Elder Berry. My daughter thought they were
Foxy Mormons, but, since the Elders were Young, I thought they were
OxyMorons.
Elder
by Nelson Birdwell on Dec 06, 2010 02:38:22
A mindless, controlling drone of the Jehovah's Witness Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Their function is to squelch independent thought, spy on those suspected of 'wrong
doing', and assist the
rank and file in making day-to-day menial decisions. They also keep track of the number of hours a member spends
knocking on doors each month. Most have the educational level of a toilet brush salesman, but they follow orders well. They enjoy the times spent in judicial committee, where they are privy to confessions of sexual activity of hot young girls, providing fodder for masturbatory sessions at a later time.
Example:
Gina- "I have to go shopping for a new pair of shoes for service Saturday, but tomorrow is Black Friday and I don't know if it would be appropriate for a Christian sister to partake in such a worldly celebration. What do you think,
Suzanne?"
Suzanne - "I think you should ask the Elders about that. You could ask Brother McDrooly, he is always so knowledgeable. But I would avoid Brother
Peterphile, he
popped a boner and actually came while I described giving a blowjob when I confessed during my judicial hearing last summer."
Gina - "Thanks, Suzanne. I am always praying thanks to Jehovah for the wonderful Elders we have here at the Kingdom Hall."
Elderness
by elderness God on Jul 03, 2013 01:05:26
It's the act of being
elderly:
clumsy, non-technological yet
curious and willing to help.
www.theelderness.com
Example:
Elderness: Giving an 'elder'
you smart phone asking them to
take a picture for you. It seems innocent enough until you turn the camera to (selfie mode) face them and press record. While they attempt to take a photo, they are being recorded the whole time. It's
priceless.
Then notify them. 'Oh! It was being recorded the whole time! OOPS!!' This way they know it was all on video. Then show them how its done, so they won't be ELDERNESSED again!