fundraising

When your too lazy to get a job to pay of your student loan or stand on a corner begging for money, so you set up a fundraising site instead.



Fundraiser
The act of putting a joint in the bowl of a pipe. then lighting the joint ans smoking it through the pipe.
Example:
James "dude im tired of smoking normal weed out of normal bowls"

Tom "lets roll a joint and try a fundraiser"


Fundraisers
Fundraisers are a common thing that happen where there's a sudden need for certain material goods but also a lack of funds needed to acquire said goods.
Example:
Of course I was going to answer sweetie, I was eating breakfast, fueling up for a productive day. Not very relatable I know! You should teach me a thing or 2 about fundraisers i'm sure you know a thing or two about raising funds. I mean, these gucci bags don't pay for themselves.


professional fundraiser
Really annoying telemarketers that are exempt from National Do Not Call Lists who call asking for donations for really good sounding organizations and programs yet only a very small percentage of the donated funds go to those programs
Example:
"do you make commissions off of what I donate?"

"No ma'am, I'm a professional fundraiser and I do not make commissions. I get paid the same hourly wage whether you donate or not."


Fundraiser fatigue
A feeling of being overwhelmed and exhausted from constant exposure to social media posts asking for donations. While the individual suffering from this condition may not be financially stable enough themselves to give their money away, an overexposure to conflict, suffering, and humanitarian tragedies will inflict a feeling of guilt for not being able to help.
Example:
"I donated my last $20 to Scott's fundraiser last weekend, but ever since then, some of my favourite influencers asked me to give money to like 10 other charities. I really can't afford anything at the moment, but seeing all this suffering in the world really wears me out and makes me feel so guilty for not doing enough. I think I'm suffering from fundraiser fatigue."


bacon fundraiser
(noun) A day when cops are out in force ticketing taking advantage of a location where they know of some common ticket-able activity will take place such as speeding or moving violations.
Example:
I'm going out to grab some food at mall.

Careful getting there man, I've been by there earlier, looks like a bacon fundraiser is going on today, cops were pulling over guys when I went by 3 times.


police fundraiser
A group of cop cars or motorcycles on the side of a large roadway; usually not a highway but a mainstreet with a large gap between the nearest traffic lights; who have a radar pointing about a mile down the roadway. One of the officers will step into the middle of the road ahead and direct the speeding vehicle to the breakdown lane, or if the vehicle has passed, will chase it down in the police car.

Usually the purpose of this event is to get cheap tickets out of people doing 5 miles over the speed limit. This works well since wealthier people tend to have powerful luxury cars which can go very fast without them even realizing it. While claiming to be 'keeping the roads safe', they are merely looking for a cheap buck out of hardworking individuals. Driving in a straight line a little to fast isn't as dangerous as the assholes who switch lanes aggressively, cut faster moving traffic off, and tailgate. These pigs should be out patrolling, looking for aggressive drivers. Of course, if you're driving an expensive car, you'll get pulled over for being the victim.
Example:
The cops sat in the breakdown lane with a radar, scamming people going 5-10 MPH over in order to get a quick buck for the local police station. Meanwhile, a shitbox Honda cuts off my Lexus, and the cop 5 carlengths infront of him slams his brakes (real safe move asshole), gets behind me and pulls ME over for tailgating (as if he could have assessed from that far ahead). I appealed that scam easily and got off free when the pig didnt even show up at the appeal hearing... but next time I won't be so lucky since I'm foolish enough to drive a car worth more than that pig's annual earnings.


fundraising terrorist
a person involved in a fundraiser who continuously hounds his or her friends and family until they have successfully convinced them to donate their money. this continues until those involved refuse to leave their homes or answer their phones in fear of more financial loss.
Example:
friend 1: "dude, you haven't left your house in 3 days"
friend 2: "i can't risk going outside. there's a fundraising terrorist on the loose, and i don't get paid for another week."


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