high school

A shithole that everyone must go to every day, from 7:30 in the morning to 3:00 in the afternoon, every week, for almost 10 months. These days, high school is a fucking pain in the ass. First you must deal with fitting in and actually making some fucking friends. You need to deal with your old friends changing and acting like an ass towards you. At the same time, if you actually give two shits about getting a decent job when you're older, you must focus on your studies and make sure you get the best marks possible. If you're sick as a fucking dog and have to stay home for a week, the teachers have absolutely zero sympathy for you. You miss shitloads of handouts, assignments and lengthy notes that in no way can you work on at home. You must find out what homework you missed by calling about 5 fucking different people and attempt to catch up WHILE dealing with your illness. If you tell your teacher that you were sick and couldn't think properly, they will just shout at you and punish you accordingly. You fucking kill yourself trying to understand that cursed bit of math that your teacher never explained to you because you were away. You freak out and end up hitting the sac at 1 in the motherfucking morning. Meanwhile, you are trying to cope with a tight, phlegmy throat that is fucking annoying and won't go away. A part of you wants to go to school the next day and not miss out on any more shitty work, and another part of you wants to stay home, heal some more, and have a blast playing video games. You freak out some more, toss a few things around and shed a few tears. Then you eventually calm down.Some people consider high school a breeze; others do not. For some it is the most treacherous thing they can think about; for others it is exciting and enjoyable. All in all, teachers suck, students suck, assignments suck, homework sucks, handouts suck, being ill sucks, and as a whole, the chore known as school is the fucking scum of the earth.



high school
A miserable prison for young people whose lives are usually hard enough as it is. Often there's a poor kid who hasn't eaten in four days and doesn't have electricity. He sits and waits for lunch, where he gets to eat a piece of month-old bread and drink half a glass of concentrated orange juice. That is, unless someone steals it and pours it on his head. Later, he gets his clothes stolen in the locker room and a spray of deodourant in his eyeballs. Lastly he's taunted by girls who have so little ego that they mock the poor kid, just for kicks. Then he trudges home carrying a 40 pound backpack because someone forgot to pick him up.
Example:
Hey Ralph; where ya off to?
High...sch..the place that I go in the morning..won't you please shoot me now?


high school
A place rumored (by adults) to be
A. the best 4 years of their lives
B. good for you
However, in all actuality it is a system of prisons cleaverly decorated with pee-yellow walls, faulty lights, air-conditioners that never seem to be turned on at the right time of the year, and heaters with a blazing high temperature of 55 degrees. There are many elements of high school, but seeing as many have already explained the social aspects, i will dwell annoyingly on the educational aspects.

~school overview~
educational officials, or teachers, "teach", or rather make you memorize facts, figures, rules, and many other things that they claim "will be very useful to you in the future" however, 95% of this information is utterly useless, and completely forgotten the second you walk out of the classroom. teachers usually emphasise becoming an individual, independent, free-thinking, creative member of society by forcing you to conform to their standards.

~Math Department~

teachers teach you about numbers, tables, charts, and other mathmatical things. in the early education years, the information seems relevant enough (multiplication, money, charts etc.) but, proceeding through the school years, the information becomes ludicris and exceedingly diffucult to understand, much less pronounce.

~Social Department~

established to teach about the world around us. the teacher repeats the phrase " we learn about history so we can learn from our mistakes" constantly and overbearingly, while overlooking the fact that no one country really learns from their mistakes, as their is , and will most likely be, outbreaks of war, senseless violence, genocide, and other crimes untill the end of time. this is, however, a decently usefull class (some of the time)

~science department~

the most pointless information that anyone will ever force you to "learn", unless you plan on becoming a scientist, or a science teacher. basic lectures are understandibly important (knowing the difference between a chipmunk and a volcano), but, like the math department, the info. becomes remarkibly useless. Contrary to popular belief, knowing how to classify a rock isn't going to do much for you, unless you plan on becoming a geoligist. Also, knowing that an ice age may happen someday again will not stop the afformentioned ice age from happening. When science teachers aren't dumbing you down with difficult, ultra-specific facts, they are telling you obvious information that you already knew long before they ever told you( the top of the mountain is usually the highest elevation).

~health department~

usually jam-packed with diagrams and gross facts that you will never remember. said diagrams are often pointless, because i don't know too many girls that plan on suddenly sprouting a penis and labeling it.

~foreign launguage department~

usually useless, because the teachers barly know how to speak the language they are supposidly teaching, and it is unlikely that many people will travel to ancient greece and be forced to remember their grammar endings. however, vocabulary words may help you remember other english words.

~english department~

teachers let you speak your inner creativity by forcing you to complete outlined, drawn-out, graded compositions. the formula usually goes something like this :
hard work + creativity = a bad grade
generic words + comformity + writing what they want to hear = a passing grade. and however much the teacher stresses that they want original ideas, they never really do. follow the exact guidelines and revert questions into sentences and you're sure to get a 90% or above.

~gym department~

originally created to keep our young ones fit and acceptable to society. however, as well as the intention may have been (or not been) this never seems to work, as the overweight kids usually find a clever, creative way out of every class. also, by the time you get changed and warmed-up, the dismissal bell has already rung and you are late for your next class, which is usually taught by a mean, strict, and detention-giving teacher. in short, the most exercise you get in gym class is running to your next class. plus, many gym teachers are usually borderlin obese.

In conclusion, you go into high school with friends, dreams, creativity, will to learn, and hope for the world. You come out of high school with no friends, crushed hopes, comformity, and realisation that the world sucks even worse then you once thought. To quote Happy Bunny, "High School Prepared you for the real world - which also sucks."
Example:
"But Mom said High school was fun..."

"Christ it's cold in here!"

"be yourself! (coughwithinreasonofcoursecough)

teacher:" quadratic equations are easy and fun! come on -
x4 + px2 + qx + r = 0 - who's up for it?"
student:"cricket...cricket.."

teacher:"wars usually end up in nothing but death and more wars.."
student:"than why do you have a pro-operation iraqi freedom poster on the wall?"
teacher:"uh..eh...um..DETENTION!

teacher:"this is the marker that they pound onto the tops of mountains to show that it's the highest elevation"
student:"golly gee wilikers- i thought the bottom of the mountain was actually the highest point! silly me!"

teacher: "fill in this diagram on fat composition while i go eat mcdonalds in the back of the classroom"

teacher : "what does quodamodo mean?"
student : "i don't know..what does it mean?"
teacher : "um..eh...uh..DETENTION!"

teacher :" okay. write this 2000 word comp. on what creativity means to you. and be sure to use proper grammer and 10/12 of the following vocabulary words..."

teacher : okay- run 4 laps while i sit, watch you, and yell at you.

billy:"i hate high school...alot."
bobby:"at least your not alone - everyone in the world is forced to go to school to learn how to be a free-thinking, indepentant, yet conforming and timid tool of society. "
billy:"thanks bobby...you really helped..."


high school
10: At school, we want you to think for yourself. This is why we take big measures to shut you up when you challenge us. Our lump of mus- I mean brain, swells up at the slightest hint of rebellion

9: The counselors are always here to help you. From bullying to suicide, you can always count on us, whether is it pretending to care about your stupid teenage drama, or wacking off secretly at your rock concert

8: Honey, I know you're failing, and that you are a hopeless shit, but... GOOD JOB!!

7: If you're going to homework, get need to GET A LIFE. GET INVOLVED! Now, 10 pounds of homework, due tomorrow!

6: Remember to show your school spirit! Our football team sucks ass! We're holding a pep rally to honor their defeat from Altoona!

5: Our food is made from the finest bits of rubber and mold residue! No wonder when you eat at school, you get a great meal at a great price!

4: Be an individual. Our job here is to prepare you to become productive sheeps of society.

3: Our no drug program has reduced drug use by 50%. We pride ourselves in having the most drunk parties in the nation and being a top-ranked party school.

2: You will look back fondly over these years. Our SAT has ruined your life, our seniors have forced you to give blowjobs, and getting up a 5:30 for another bleek day of wrinkly old grannies are your fondest memories.

1: We pride ourselves on having the best and brightest teachers in the nation. Our students have gone off to become the most accomplished men and women. This is why you have the sex-deprived pedophile for history, and the never-smiling hobos as classmates
Example:
The decleration of Schooldependence

yep, high school


high school
a place where, depending on your looks, you are classified into. why does it matter if you're a prep, gangster, ho-bag or what? you are what you are. high school is worthless. In no such way will it ever give you the skills you need for the real world.
Example:
"oh god im not wearing the designer jeans like everyone else."
"looks like your life is over!"


high school
A place that rewards incompetence and conformism. Crams thousands of hormone charged teens into a bulidng, makes them eat lunch way too early, and uses peer pressure to destroy your self-esteem. Also uses incredibly hard classes filled with useless information to fuck up your social life and your relationship with your parents. Nothing you learn will be of any use in the real world and the overall goal is to break your spirit so the government can pick up the pieces and make you what they want.
Example:
High school destroyed my life and my mind.


high school
A place where they stick 14-18 year olds just to stop them from terrorizing our cities. They claim "learning" goes on here, but all that really happens is some boring ass teachers tell us to memorize pointless facts we'll never use. they tell you to "be creative" but no one ever is because they know as soon as they do something creative or something the teacher doesn't agree with they get an automatic f. interchangable with hell.
Example:
Tom: Did yu go to high school today?

Jeff: Hell no, no one that goes to that hellhole comes out normal.
Tom: Agreed.


high school
A place where your parents tell you it's the "happiest time in your life" and that when you leave everything will just suck more. This is wrong because when you leave school you get paid to be bored to death everyday, and you are can start living your life.
Example:
Parent: "the world sucks after high school"
Person who just finished school: "nope, I have money now"


high school
A shitty place where teenage sub-culture drives you insane and teachers give you lots of work to do.
Example:
"Charlyne is such a prep. Oh my gosh, I can't stand those preppy little fuckers."
"I wish I was fucking popular...if only I could be like the cool kids."
"Those damn goth kids are so fuckin scary"
"I'm such a punk...Abercrombie and Fitch is so fucked."
"Let's go get wasted man! Fuck yeah!!!!!"


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