i'm going to

Announcement before:1) taking a huge bite into a large food item such as a sandwich, burrito or plateful of food.2) penetrating a partner.



I'm going to
something you never say to your mom
Example:
Me: I'm going to make me a sandwich

Mom: *grabs the chanclas*

Me: "may I please make a sandwich"
Mom: "a cheese and mayo one"
Me: *see's a full container of turkey*
Me: "can i have a turkey one"
Mom: No
Me: *relizes i bought it*
mom: "you got a problom, you could have nothing"
Me" but i bought it"
*dad walks in, takes the turkey and runs away with it*
Mom: "B!TCH YOU BETTER GET YOUR @$$ BACK HERE"
Me: smh


I'm Going on Break
Said after solving a taxing problem or difficult issue at work, 'cause after that you definitely deserve a break. Or even better if it wasn't so difficult or taxing, 'cause hell yeah you're going on break anyway!
Example:
I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender....all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well that's a fresher....I'm going on break.
- Mitch Hedberg


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