ipad

An ipod for fat people



ipad
Those who are clueless what an mp3 player is might call any kind of device with head phones an iPad. Mostly senior citizens
Example:
granny 1 : Teenagers today are too obsessed with technology
granny 2 : Yea, they are always listening to their iPads , in our time we had to go out and buy a record off a store
(The above is a true story)


iPad
Apple's revolutionary new sanitary napkin device for females. The iPad senses when it's that time of the month and automatically sends a message to a pre-programmed phone number, letting your man know that he's not getting sex tonight. Sensors tuned in to your brainwaves can accurately forecast your mood up to 12 hours in advance, automatically queueing up The Notebook in your Netflix video on demand while simultaneously ordering chocolate to be delivered to your front door.

Forget tampons. Try the iPad today!
Example:
Andre: ...it was seriously the biggest fish I have ever caught dude - hang on I got a text. Oh fuck.

Tim: What's going on today?

Andre: I just got a message from my wife's iPad. It's forecasting her mood as "Nazi bitch".

Tim: Dude, I would not want to be you.

Andre: Yeah, can I spend the night on your couch?


iPadicitis
A disease involving an inexplicable craving over and acquiring of Apple's iPad even though the sufferer already has about 12 other gadgets that are able to do the same thing. Typical symptoms include excessive tweeting or blogging about it, as well as downloading apps before one even receives the device. Diehard Apple fanatics and wannabe pseudo-geeks are particularly susceptible.
Example:
Joe's iPadicitis was so bad, his past 226 tweets were about the iPad and when he was ever going to finally install all the apps he'd downloaded.


iPad
A piece of technology from Apple Inc. that's less functional than a laptop and less portable than an iPhone. Lacking any features that aren't already done better by other devices such as the Amazon Kindle, the iPad is considered the best way to waste $499 in 2010!
Example:
I would have bought an iPad, but I have an IQ of more than 60 and don't drool over a piece of technology just because Apple says it's good.


iPad
A general term for something that is expected to be great, but turns out to be terrible.
Example:
'I really thought last night would be an awesome night out, but it was such an iPad'

'We broke up after she told me I was nothing but an iPad'

'The iPad announcement was a huge iPad'


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