light saber

The best single weapon in the history of cinema. Utilised in the star wars films, lightsabers (or sabres - if you're UK) consist of a handle (like a flashlight tube) and emit a brilliant lazerbeam like shaft of colour. The traditional colours of the blade are green or blue for Jedi (goodies) or red for the baddies - the Sith. The exceptions are Mace Windu played by Samuel L Jackson who has a purple one because Jackson wanted to look cooler than everyone else. And General Grevious who weilded stolen Jedi sabres. Also in Revenge of the Sith Darth Vader still uses his Jedi blue sabre - though he switches to red in the time between episodes III & IV.Lightsabres are able to cut through anything, apart from the blade of another sabre. Because of this it's an ideal 1v1 weapon for close combat. These duels are the highlights of the Star Wars films. Here, in order are the sabrefights;EP1: Qui gon jinn & Obi wan Kenobi destroy droids. Qui gon jinn V Darth Maul - no victor, Maul escapes. Qui gon and Kenobi V Darth Maul - Kenobi wins, Maul kills Jinn before Kenobi kills him.EP2: Kenobi kills hitman in club. Anakin Skywalker V Droid army All Jedi V Droids - Windu decapitates Jango Fett Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker V Count Dooku Dooku KO's Kenobi and cuts Anakin's arm off. This leads into; Yoda V Dooku - Dooku escapesEP3: Anakin and Kenobi V Droids Anakin and Kenobi V Dooku - Anakin decapitates Dooku in cold blood. Anakin and Kenobi V General Grevious - Grevious escapes. Anakin discovers Palpatine is really Darth Sidious and holds his saber to his throat Chancellor Palpatine V Jedi council Palpatine mows them down except Windu, who forces him into a corner. Anakin cuts Windu's hand off and Palpatine electrocutes him. Kenobi V Grevious - Grevious escapes and Kenobi gives chase Anakin goes to the temple and exterminates all the Jedi, including women and children. A child escapes and kills a few troops with his saber but is savagely gunned down. Anakin goes to Mustafar and wipes out all the Sepratist leaders Yoda V Sidious - Sidious forces Yoda to flee Anakin V Kenobi - The huge climactic epic battle, won by Kenobi who decides to relieve Anakin of his left arm and both his legs, and leaves whats left engulfed in flames (what a guy huh?)EP4: Feeble crumbly Kenobi V Darth Vader - Kenobi is killed after sacraficing himself.EP5 Luke Skywalker V Wampa Big ugly hairy thing plus lightsabre equals Big one armed hairy thing. Luke V "Darth Vader" Luke's mind playing tricks - cuts Vaders head off to reveal GASP! his face in the mask. Luke V Vader (real) Vader pisses on him basicly - after cutting Lukes hand off Vader reveals that "I am your father" DUM DUM DUUUUM!EP6 Luke V Jabba's goons - And the scene where Leia is in THE GOLD BIKINI!! Luke V Trooper on bike - Trooper gets his bike destroyed - dies, nice explosion though. Luke surrenders to Daddy and shows him his new lightsabre. Vader responds by taking him to the Emperor Luke V Vader (one) After being goaded into taking his sabre, Luke attemts to kill the emperor but his daddy's blade blocks his. With his soppyness fully restored, Luke decides it's wrong to fight his father. Vader responds by hurling his sabre vaguely in Lukes direction - missing too. Luke V Vader (two) Realising Vader knows he has a sister, Luke grows a set and charges Vader, he beats him down and holds him there his sabre pointed at his throat. Emperor Palpatine electrocutes Luke after Luke throws his Sabre away (silly boy) Vader becomes good and throws the nasty man down a tube YAY.



Light Sabering
The act of swordfighting, with the addition of a bendy glowstick shoved in the urethra while the lights are off.
Example:
We were swordfighting, but the lights went out, so we tried Light Sabering instead!


Light Saber
A Jedi Knights weapon of choice the Light Saber is less clumbsy than a blaster, and is more of a symbol of honor, and wisdom than a weapon. A Light Saber\'s color depends upon the type of crystal put into the hilt during its building, and the crystal really depends on the Jedi\'s personality, and their particular alliance. Jedi\'s (the good guys) usually have stoic colors or softer colors which give off a prescence of being good such as blue, green, yellow, purple, etc. The Sith (the bad guys) more or less stick with one dominant color that gives off a presence of evil, red, dark red, crimson, take your pick. In closing Light Sabers kick ass, and I wish the government would go public with their mass production of the powerful sabers....Oh come on, we all know that its true...
Example:
When Light Sabers are finally made in real life we will Ironically downgrade our fighting style to sword fighting while our weapons greatly upgrade technilogically....I hope.


Light Saber
A lightsaber is an amazing and versatile eweapon that is used by a Jedi.In comparison to these, blasters are pathetic.To carry a lightsaber is an example of incredible skill. The blade of a lightsabre can cut through almost anything, except the blade of another one.
They are the best weapons in the universe basically.
Example:
Anakin:When I got there we went into aggresive negotiations..

Padme: Aggresive negotiations? What's that?

Anakin: Well, negotiations, with a light saber.


Light saber
A terrible weapon Lockheed Martin is developing in case of war against France. Unfortunately the huge amount of light sabers produced might drive the United States to the third Bush administration.
Example:
US army general: "what happened to the boat"
US lieutenant: "the pirates caught it"
US army general: "is the crew ok?"
US lieutenant: "Yes, the were french so they gave up immediately."

to the sailors:"by the way, why did you give up so easily?!"
French sailor A: " they had a light saber"
French sailor B: "........light.....saber....."
French sailor C:" LE LIGHT SABER!!! TERRIBLE!!"


Light Sabers
The act or game of two or more men (usually heterosexuals) placing glow in the dark condoms on each others erect penises and having mock light saber duals under the glow of a black-light. Sound effects are common but not necessary.
Example:
Hey bro a bunch of us are getting together after the hockey game and playing light sabers, you down?


Light sabering
The act of inserting a life size light saber replica into a hole for sexual purposes.

The act may be performed as is, or also enjoyed while watching Star Wars.
Example:
She didn't have a vibrator, but I had a light saber.

I light sabered that ass.

She asked for a good light sabering.


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