middle ages

a period of European history from around A.D. 500 to A.D. 1500



middle age
The period of a person's life that falls between youth and wishing you would fucking die. For some the line between middle age and old age is very thin.

Richard Nixon was born middle aged; Madonna achieved middle age when she became irrelevant; Dick Cheney bypassed middle age and went straight to old age as fast as he could get there.
Example:
My dad and mom still think they're young, but the sad truth is they hit middle age early in life and won't admit it.


middle aged
i. a period between early adulthood and old age, anywhere from 30 to 65 years old.

ii. Something most people will not admit to being. (It sucks to be older than 29...)
Example:
The man was middle-aged, though he loathed to admit it.

My students make fun of me by calling me middle aged, though I am 29 forever...


middle aged slang
What's in a middle-aged person's vocabulary from when they were pretty young things. it is exceptionally obvious when a.) the oldie in question is presenting a motivational speech to a bunch of bored high school kids and wants them to think they are 'hap'nin' but doesn't know the correct speech anymore, b.) when said oldie decided to write a 'convincing' teen novel. Is also apparent on the 'made for teens' websites you have to visit for school, where you're so enraptured in the hip language that you don't realize you're learning! *yay*
Example:
Let's read an exerpt of my new motivational book for teens:
Kyle: What's up Verne, you're looking tubular today!
Verne: Man, hey! Don't block my style. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd heard of the totally far-out website that helps teens like us help kids all over the world.
Kyle: Man, what a trip! Let's start making a difference!

(Communal gags from all under-85's at the blatant use of middle aged slang)


middle aged dangle
Old man saggy nuts. As the years go by gravity takes it toll. The ball sack stretches longer from the weight of the nuts. Some old men can actually sway their hips and wrap their nuts around their leg like a tether ball pole.
Example:
He got a new car and a face lift but once I saw that middle aged dangle I knew he was freakin old!
His nuts looked like two golf balls in a nylon sock.

old man saggy nuts long balls saggy sack tea-bags


middle aged scowl
The perpetual frown and down-turned corners of the mouth of a person usually over 35, displaying sadness, depression, or disappointment. The antonym of a smile.
Example:
"I saw Midge the other day. Poor thing she's lost her bloom. She had such a middle aged scowl."


Middle-Age Speedball
Like the "Pill-Lattes" but for men. Strong coffee or an energy drink and a Percodan/Percocet/ Oxy/ etc.... Usually chewed.

Older guys with physical jobs are the demographic here....
Example:
I get through the day on with a Middle-Age Speedball.


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