newspaper Definition| Urban Word Dictionary

newspaper

by Sir Slinky on Jul 15, 2006 00:40:30

An instrument aiding the execution of the common house fly.

Example:
damnit its another fucking fly ruining my general eating experience, here pass me that newspaper...*big chase ensues* WHAP... damn straight its dead.*picks smeared remains up off cupboard door*

newspaper

by KGtheKid on Apr 20, 2007 00:52:48

1. A pastime for people while taking a shit.

2. To read the newspaper is a euphemism for taking a shit.

Example:
Oh crap...hold on, guys, I gotta go read the newspaper.

*toilet water splashes*

newspaper

by Bozo123 on Sep 12, 2005 04:07:56

A publication that an attractive woman under the age of 40 does not read.

Example:
Hot chicks don't read the newspaper; unless they're looking at the Macy's ad.

Newspaper

by helios1014 on Nov 02, 2013 22:44:55

A pre-internet (i.e. ancient) current affairs blog that featured spell check and editorial standards. Occasionally they might run issues (postings for those who are not fluent in grandpa speak) featuring commentary and reactions by people who might write in complete sentences and direct their statements to something called an editor (this word is not available in Webster's .8).

Example:
"Hey man, check out the low res images they have on this free tablet they are giving out at the bus stop."
"Dude, its stuck on this one program. It might be broken"
"Wait, I think this is one of those things my dad keep telling me about...you know, a newspaper."
"Woooa."

newspapering

by Scipio Nightfire on Nov 01, 2010 00:05:34

The act of laying lots of newspapers in a persons yard at night while they are sleeping.

Example:
Stan "Hey man do you want to go newspapering?"
Kyle "Dude what the hell is that?"
Stan "Its like tping but with newspapers."

newspapering

by Krkič on Dec 30, 2019 07:40:51

checking the weather at Lake UD

Example:
"yes ive been newspapering. what can i say, you're really into me!"
"stop being full of yourself, you think this is all about you?"
"No. just the bits about me are about me. Appreciation Hug?"

Rusty Newspaper

by Uncle Ty on Oct 16, 2012 09:42:49

The "Rusty Newspaper" is an act used to describe the actions of a man when he wipes his ass with the front page of the London Times then proceeds to fax the page to his wife when she arrives at work.

Example:
Husband- "Did you recieve the paper via fax at work this morning honey?"
Wife- "I did, it seems you've delievered me a "Rusty Newspaper". What for?"
Husband- "You burnt the coffee again this morning you F**king C**t, thats what you get."
Wife- "I hope you at least cleaned the shit off the fax machine".

newspaper head

by JD dudemaster on Mar 06, 2010 08:22:26

Someone who sits with a newspaper in front of their head instead of paying attention to the suroundings.

Example:
"hey dude check out that newspaper head over there"

Polish Newspaper

by Clump Chlumpkins on Nov 08, 2013 03:00:14

Oral Sex performed onto someone while they are on the toilet.

Example:
Bobby was drunk last night so Tina gave him a polish newspaper he'd never forget.

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