priority

A slang term for girlfriend or boyfriend. Started in Portland, Oregon it is quickly spreading amongst groups of friends.



total priority
A measurement used to distinguish between items of work that are all deemed by the customer to be the highest priority.

When everything is priority 1, you can calculate the total priority by asking what order those tasks should be done in. The total priority is a representation of this order, for instance 1a, 1b, 1c.

If you find you end up with multiple items with the same total priority, simple repeat the process and append another letter e.g. 1aa, 1ab, 1ac until they get the message.
Example:
"Taking into consideration the total priority of those 20 high priority tasks, I think I'll be able to do 3 of them by next week"


Priority Fail
Any point in time when a spouse, child, family member or ANYONE ELSE in your physical perimeter becomes subordinate to text, email, tweet or any other virtual bullshit method of communication.
Example:
Hey mom, did you hear about the kid that turned COVID positive at school today?
***continues texting***
Yeah, so it turns out that he was at the graduation party last week.
***continues texting***
And so I got tested for the virus.
***continues texting***
I'm positive for COVID-19

WHAT!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING!? YOU COULD INFECT ALL OF US!!

(Priority Fail)


priority friend
A priority friend is the kind of friend you would drop all prior plans to hang out with. The best kind of best friend.
Example:
Junior: Oh man!!! I waited at the pub for an hour and you didn't show up?? What happened?

Mike: Sorry man! I got "the call" from Chris last night wanting to hang out. I drop all my plans when he calls. Life is just more fun with a friend like him. Chris is my priority friend.

Junior: Oh, that's ok then. I'd do the same if I'd got "the call" from Chris. He's worth it.


top priority
Corporate speak for "We really don't care about this as to do so would affect profits, but our PR team advise that we should pretend to."
Example:
Following an accident leading to significant injury that is being reported in the media: "Safety is a top priority for us"

When your internet or phone or on-line bank is not working due to cost-saving measures: "Our customers' convenience is our top priority."


Tip Priority
The perk one gets from giving big tips or being known for giving big tips.
Example:
Matt had 8 pizzas to deliver but tip priority meant that he’d deliver the freshest one first. That guy always slipped him a $20.

Ari knew that the woman at table two was very generous and gave her table tip priority all night.


minority priority
A term used to describe what happens when the local government goes out and spends ridiculous amounts of money to 'give everyone a fair chance" and "end discrimination" where really all they're doing is trying to save their asses from getting sued by some whiny parent that bitches about everything by throwing money at the problem so they can say "look we're doing nice things, look at all the nice things, we're broke now, but hey look at how nice we are" the end result is usually something incredibly stupid, that doesn't actually accomplish anything and often time actually has the reverse effect of increasing discrimination and taking chances away from people, it also opens the gate for more lawsuits which leads to complete bankruptcy because suing someone is now a fad, which leads to the collapse of society and/or the terrorists have won and manbearpig rules the world until we get Harrison Ford to fuck an atomic fish until it goes super-critical and destroys manbearpig's tyrannical reign, unfortunately Elton John survives and is now in charge of your lunch program which is how minority priority leads to gay kids getting to have lunch before you.
Example:
Thanks to minority priority in public schools if a guy wants to pretend to be a girl he can use the girls locker room as well as the girls bathroom and its considered okay.


Priority None
How a person travels (frequently impromptu) who uses no special-affinity credit cards (that tie into retailers, hoteliers, etc.), keeps no priority accounts with hotel chains, does not accumulate airline miles, nor qualifies for rebates or discounts, nor contributes to add-a-dollar or round-it-up programs.
Example:
"When I travel I go where I want to go when I want to go. I don't travel often, but when I do I pay standard fare or phone ahead. I don't rack up hotel points, airline points, Amtrak points, cruise-ship points, department store points, major-league team points, hotel/motel points, rent-a-car points or charity points. I pay what I pay and if it's too much, I shop around or don't go. Nobody needs to know my password or log-in, and I don't get a dozen e-mails a week. I get bumps and privileges like you wouldn't believe. Nothing influences my choice of company or chain when I travel. That's called flying Priority None."


Priority Zero
Paramedic term for time AND life-critical patient, especially when their condition deteriorates so badly that they could pass if not treated immediately.
Example:
Paramedic: Received a Code One case (time critical and unconscious) patient who suffered a fall, but during our travels, but it has turned into a Priority Zero as she also a cardiac patient who is having a cardiac arrest as we speak. We must get to her ASAP.


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