sliced bread

the best thing since the printing press.



Sliced bread

by jugglablepotato23 on Aug 01, 2013 01:39:01

Whole Bread (1723-1779) was a warrior from the 17th century who is most well-known for defending the town of Breadland. Born and raised in Breadland, he was the only child in the family and was abused by his parents. He ran away from home at the age of 8 when his father threatened to cover him in mayonnaise. He was kidnapped by fat people with fancy hats, being forced to work for them and their cooking business. However, he escaped at the age of 12 and was taken care of by breadnolologists until he was 17. After that he moved to Starchville, working as a butcher for 4 years. The 21-year-old Bread soon decided he wanted to join the Breadland army. He moved back to his hometown and was accepted into the military. He fought in many battles and overtime became a famous soldier. On June 5, 1779, he was once again kidnapped by the fancily hatted chefs he had met at an earlier age. They attempted to suffocate him using various meats and cheeses as payback for his escape. He killed several of the chefs, but was sliced in half by the leader, thus earning the nickname "Sliced Bread." Since then, the saying "the greatest thing since sliced bread" was coined in honor of the lost soldier.
Example:
This snack is the greatest thing since sliced bread!


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