strategic

(adjective) In business, an unnecessary modifier used to add gravitas and authority to a statement everyone knows to be complete bullshit. To be engaged in, expressing, or based on incompetence rather than knowledge.



Strategical
Strategical \strə-'tē-ji-kəl\ adjective

Word to carefully pepper into important work interactions with superiors when one does not aspire to climb the corporate ladder. This scenario may arise when the next job up may be much more work than the payrise is worth. This word is to be used only with great consideration as it may lead to a shot yourself in the foot scenario with long term implications affecting your career.

*equivalent of using 'brang' instead of 'brought'.
Example:
Brenn the Manager to Company Director: I'm sending through the strategical development plans- they should be in your inbox any moment now.

Company Director to another Company Director: So Lenny's pretty good you say?


Strategize
Verb of Strategy: The action of coming up with a strategy.

Thinking strategically about a situation or business challenge.

A contemporary non-word that has gained acceptance as appropriate business terminology.
Example:
After the focus group results are tabulated we will strategize the best communication tactic based on the insights obtained.

I had been strategizing for weeks as to how I would complete the assignment on time and within budget.


Strategic Incompetence
Purposely performing a task so poorly as to discourage being assigned this task again, but not poorly enough to be fired
Example:
Cube Dweller1: Dude, writing the weekly report is a sucky job; how do I get out of it?

Cube Dweller2: Just screw up some people's names and swap some people's tasks, nobody will want you to do it again

Cube Dweller1: Ahh....Strategic Incompetence....a fine idea....my inner slacker is jumping for joy!


Strategic Liking
when you like one of the opposite sex's photo on facebook with intentions of letting them know you are interested in hooking up with them
Example:
Jon: I did some Strategic Liking of ella's facebook photos

Michael: Mate you are in!


strategically brilliant
The War Criminal in Chief’s typically grandiose self-assessment of his impulsive and ignorant decision to pull US troops out of Syria.
Example:
What I’ve done in Syria is quite frankly strategically brilliant; I know you don’t like it but Syria is mostly a lot of sand - and Vlady’s gonna really love me now!


Strategic Bombing
When paragliding, it is the act of flying over large groups of people with your pants down and trying to hit them with your excrement.
Example:
John: "Hey, Bob, what are you gonna do this afternoon?"
Bob: "I'm strategic bombing a kindergarten class"
John: "Oh nice. So how's the family"
Bob: "Karen's doing well, and Billy is doing well in school"
John: "How's he doing?"
Bob: "He's almost out of kindergarten"


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