tom cruise

Overrated douchebag who practices scientology and poisons today's youth



tom cruise
A person who will reduce themselves to doing absolutely ridiculous acts to avoid being labeled as a homosexual. These acts and publicity stunts do more damage to one's reputation than coming out of the closet would.
Example:
Tom Cruise danced around like a damn fool on the Oprah show, trying to convince us all that he just LOOOOVES Katie Holmes.


tom cruise
A once good actor turned completely insane. He is now engaged to actress Katie Holmes (who looks like she's twelve but is still taller than him). Tom Cruise also VERY OPENLY practices scientology. Scientologists, I'm convinced, are trying to TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE. I mean seriously, anything started and made popular in LA has to be frigged up. They have schools, and art classes, and buildings. ITS FRIGHTENING!!! How can you have a "religion" based off of a sci-fi novel anyway???? It makes no sense.

But really, he had a list of all the single actresses in Hollywood that he could go out with. Katie Holmes was at the end of the list. A girl has to have some pride.
Example:
"Oh my God. When she saw Brad Pitt, she went all Tom Cruise and started jumping up and down on my couch. GAWD. Now we need to get new upholstery."

"Poor Batman, he has to kiss Mrs. Tom Cruise."

"YOU SHOW EM, TOM. KICK SOME ALIEN ASS! Ooh wait...nevermind you got sucked up into the ship..."


tom cruise
An exceptionally shit actor (refer to his couch jumping antics on Oprah to prove that he loves Katie Holmes), and believes eating asparagus can keep influence from evil alien souls at bay (refer to scientology).
Example:
d00d wtf happened? u used to be ok, but now ur a fuggin' mess!!!


tom cruise
A moron who likes jumping on couches and has absolutely no consideration for other people's furniture. He also looks like a gorilla when he jumps on a couch. But moving on... he has absolutely no expression or emotion in his movies except for war of the worlds in which he looked rather constipated.
Example:
tom cruise- I LOVE KATIE HOLMES SO MUCH I'M GONNA DESTROY OPRAH'S COACH. I'M SURE SHE WON'T MIND.
me- go jump on your own couches

tom cruise- OMG I AM SO AWESOME. GO ME. EVERYONE LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY ABOUT SCIENCE AND STUFF. I ROCK!!!
me- what?! you expect me to listen to you when you start lecturing about science?! go bother katie holmes but not me.


tom cruise
a. welcome to mindhead
b. can be seen on tv jumping on top of couches
c. believes psychiatry is phoney
d. rose to stardom after sock sliding in his underwear
Example:
didn't know he was in that vampire movie until two years later.


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