tooth

i can't believe there's no definition for tooth



The Tooth
A purported "chef" with "three decades of experience", but manages to fuck up the tasks that even the Kitchen Hand can successfully complete.

The Tooth inhabits this world in the vague shape of a middled aged alcoholic, but distinguishes himself by brandishing his last remaining chomper square in the middle of his upper gum. The Tooth, with his single remaining, yellowed, jagged, decaying fang, infects the workplace with incompetence, stagnation, and causes homicidal ideation among its colleagues. The Tooth is the literal embodiment of incompetence, substance abuse, and failure.

The Tooth, due to a lifetime of imbibing Goon Sacks and twisting mad pipes, has sufficiently lowered his IQ to qualify for the disability pension. Despite this, however, driven by goon and meltdowns, prepossess a biological imperative that compels him to fuck up life for all those that work in a kitchen.
Example:
Example 1

Apprentice: Chef, may I have feed back on my Coleslaw?

Chef: You toothed you coleslaw with too much onion.

Example 2:

Chef: This balsamic dressing doesn't have any balsamic vinegar! Who did this!

Apprentice: I was off yesterday. It must have been The Tooth.


toothing
Toothing is a technological evolution of the sexual practice known as "dogging". People with Bluetooth enabled mobile devices broadcast to other Bluetooth enabled devices in the area that they are "up for a shag" They text some flirtatious sexual banter back and forth for a bit, then arrange to meet up for an impromptu shag in the nearest nook or cranny.
Example:
Im not going to the pub tonight, im feeling a bit horny, gonna go toothing at Liverpool Street Station instead.


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