would of

A stupid way of saying "would have" or "would've". In essence, it's bad grammar & no one seems to care.



would of
Another form of "would have". Implies a more casual setting. Acceptable and common in everyday speaking and writing, but perhaps you should write "would have" on your next English essay. Pet peeve of grammar dweebs and English teachers.
Example:
I would of died if I were there!

She would of been shocked had she seen it!


Would of
A construction used by people who may be native English speakers, but who still don't understand that "of" and "have" are different words.
Example:
I would of known the difference between "of" and "have", but I of not been educated. Of a nice day!


Would
a person whom "you would" have sex with and a game by the same name with friends.
to expedite the process, 'would' will suffice.
however, this small game has gained massive momentum and the creative forces that be have expanded to an entire would/wood game.
Further definitions will follow.

wood if bored (particle board), wood if drunk (driftwood), cherrywood (virgin), weeping willow (flexible,athletic), redwood or teakwood (one you want to marry), laminate wood (fake tits or just fake personality), mahogany or sandalwood (addicted to money, rich), bamboo (hot, but dumb), oak (ok, but still would), maple (under 18, sticky situation) and Pop would (amazingly beautiful)
there are much more, have fun with it
Example:
example 1
two men, sitting on a dock, observe jessica alba walking by
man #2 - would!

example 2
same two men, no jessica alba
man #1 - what do you think of scarlett johanson?
man #2 - Pop Would!
man #1 - naw man, i want to marry that girl
she's redwood.
man #2 - very true


Would of
When an educated English Speaker intends to say "Would HAVE", they instead contract the written form to would've. Less intellectual people (read: Dumbasses) then read this and, unable to grasp the concept of abbreviation, pronounce it as "Would've". This, due to laziness, was then mutated to "Would of," whereupon Bahamut was returned to mortal flesh and mankind entered a new age of darkness, suffering and general illiteracy.
Example:
"I would of kept talking, but she asked me if I wanted to of sex."
"Would HAVE. You've doomed us to an age of darkness, suffering and general illiteracy!"
"Why don't you of a short walk off a long pier you Grammar Nazi."


Would?
One of the best songs written by Jerry Cantrell, lead guitarist from Alice in Chains. This AWESOME song is sung so beautifully and harmonized perfectly by Cantrell and Alice in Chains lead singer, Layne Staley.

Fact: Awesome bass and drum.
Fact: Awesome Layne Staley voice.
Fact: Jerry wrote this song about Andrew Wood, a singer and friend from the grunge/Seattle area back in the early 90's, who died of a heroin overdose.

Fact: Many interpretations are written about this song, but only one true meaning (see Fact #1)
Fact: Is from the album "Dirt" and also on the MTV Unplugged performance
Example:
Read the song lyrics Would? then you must listen to it, it's KILLER!!!

"Would?"

Know me broken by my master
Teach thee on child of love hereafter

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

Drifting body it's sole desertion
Flying not yet quite the notion

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

Am I wrong?
Have I run too far to get home?
Have I gone?

And left you here alone?
IF . I . WOULD . COULD . YOU?

_________________

Would? is a fantastic song, you should listen to it, would you?


Would?
Know me broken by my master
Teach thee on child of love hereafter
Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way
Drifting body, it's sole desertion
Flying not yet, quite the notion
Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way
Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way
Example:
Am I wrong?
Have I run too far to get home?
Have I gone?
And left you here alone?
Am I wrong?
Have I run too far to get home?
Have I gone?
And left you here alone?
If I would, could you?

Would?


would
A word used in place of the word "did" to make the sentence seem redundant and foolish.
Despite "would" being the future tense of the word "will", it's used in place of the past tensed "did", thus making the statement ridiculous.
Example:
Joey: Omg guys, I just ate like 40 taquitos.

Shayne: Hah! You would do something like that.

Joey:...


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