LinkedIn

An online forum originally intended for professional people to form links with others that they know and trust professionally in order to further their own and their company’s business interests. LinkedIn was co-founded by Reid Hoffman who was previously Executive Vice President in charge of business and corporate development for PayPal and was launched in 2003. Unfortunately, like so many other things (Urban Dictionary for example), it has been overrun by talentless, self-aggrandising wannabes who have nothing to offer the workplace except copious quantities of bullshit.Interestingly, Hoffman stated that 27 percent of LinkedIn subscribers are recruiters; perhaps this would explain why using recruiters to solve a staffing problem is usually a complete disaster, they’re so full of their own bullshit they believe everyone else’s.



LinkedIn
1. A place where unemployed 40 somethings go because their kids told them about social media and their neighbor (Never even visited LinkedIn twice) recommended they check it out during small-talk. Then the unemployed 40 year old spends one afternoon making 500 connections and harassing people who haven't been back to LinkedIn in a year; with their resume.

2. A profile graveyard for entry level corporate kids who do not want to share their Facebook profile with their superiors.

3. A place where salesmen and MLM marketers pump their wares until they realize no-one ever returns or uses LinkedIn.
Example:
Bob: "Hi Jane how are you doing?"

Jane: "I'm ok, still looking for a job."

Bob: "You should go on LinkedIn, it's like a Facebook for professionals."

Jane: "Thanks, I'll check it out. My kids keep talking about social media."


LinkedIn
The professional's version of Facebook for use as a career networking tool. You have a "public profile" that corresponds to a Facebook "wall." Instead of "friends", you have "connections." You gain access to the connections of your connections unless they "hide" them and you can hide yours. When you have a connection, you have their contact information. You can have professional recommendations posted on your page.

LinkedIn is also a frequently used sock puppet for identity thieves. Never accept connections from people you don't know. Never put your real physical address into the contact section; give an e-mail address and an unlisted telephone number.

LinkedIn is also a tool that many recruiters (scalpers/headhunters) use in a dishonest manner. Their attempts to connect with you are phishing expeditions to get your connection list. The job that they claim to have is nearly always fake; it is bait, if you accept their connection you will never hear from them again or they will tell you that the job is filled. Recruiters always hide all their connections so you get nothing from them (all take and no give)

Ignore any offer for connections from a recruiter. If you want to contact them, do so outside of LinkedIn. Read their public profile (many recruiters have contact information there). If so, call or Email directly (use unlisted phone). If not, send an InMessage through LinkedIn giving them only an Email address and an unlisted phone number.
Example:
LinkedIn can be a useful tool to keep up with your professional contacts


LinkedIn
MySpace for people who actually have jobs.
Example:
I found Greg on LinkedIn and he hooked me up with a great headhunter.


LinkedInality
1. the state or quality of having existence or substance on LinkedIn;
2. its not fully a reality but it does have a part of reality, which is unfortunately sometimes needed to get attention to your LinkedIn profile and your résumé.
Example:
Do not believe everything you read on Linkedin where people post about their achievements, its LinkedInality not reality.


Linkedins
Modern subculture of contemporary youth. Go-getters, who are aiming to develop their careers, and are willing to share their steps with the entire world. They know internet algorithms quite well and know how to react and how they are supposed comment on other people's content to reach more people with their own content.

Meanwhile, they're interested in personal development, trendy gyms, and a healthy diet in a vegan bistro. They reduce sugar but add up caffeine. They listen to podcasts (about personal development) and read new books (about personal development) based on legit whitepapers. Truly passionate about traveling to foreign hotels, and trying local cuisine in fancy restaurants. They aim for success and spread only positive vibes. Even though, they all go to a therapy
Example:
- Hey dude, who are these people and what the heck they're doin?
- Oh, these are just linkedins networking, trying to add up some value while aiming for success .


linkedin explosion
When one goes from being a "job seeker" on linkedin to being employed and wanting to show off to all your friends/colleagues through inviting them into your network.

Having minimal information on your profile and "in search of new career opportunity" to having a gratuitous amount of pages of text on a job you haven't even started yet.
Example:
Joe just had a linkedin explosion? Suddenly he thinks he's hot shit after landing that gig at BMW, he's adding everyone left and right bro.

Did you hear? Jill recently went from struggling liberal arts graduate to retail at Saks. She had a linkedin explosion and added our entire graduating class to brag about it through status updates.


LinkedIn Porn
The bottomless well of humble-brags and articles, memes, and stories that people incessantly and mindlessly share on LinkedIn - often from sources such as "Inc." or "Harvard Business Review" or some guy named Gary Vaynerchuk - and which address topics like leadership, empathy, and diversity and inclusion on an extremely superficial level.
Example:
I hate LinkedIn! I am so sick of seeing all this LinkedIn Porn with stupid quotes like "managers manage and leaders lead."


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