nice things

Things we can't have for a number of reasons.



Nice things
What a woman will call blow job because she thinks the word blow job is disgusting. Ironically she will put a pisstop dick in her mouth and suck it till it explodes and thats not disgusting to her. Go Figure
Example:
The kids are in bed would you like some nice things?


This is why we can't have nice things
No matter how nice of a thing you have, no matter how hard you may try, someone will always find a way to fuck it up.
Example:
Josh: Hey bro can I borrow your phone?
Me: I dunno man, I just bought this. I don't even have a case on it yet!
Josh: Chill dude, I ain't gonna break it. It'll just take a second..
Me: Okay...
Josh:*Immediately drops it on the ground, denting the corner*
Me: God damn it Josh, this is why we can't have nice things.


That's why we can't have nice things
It's a statement a mom or dad would make, while exasperated with their child for having broken some household item. For instance, a mother buys a new small appliance for her kitchen, let's say its a stand mixer. The kids start playing with it and jam something in the blades and burn out the motor. Mom walks in and sees the mess and yells, "See! That's why we can't have nice things!"

It's a comment that is actually an irrational thing to say, but it's funny for that reason. A very "mom/dad" thing they would say in the heat of the moment.
Example:
"See! That's why we can't have nice things! Dad just bought this VCR, and you kids put a sandwich in it! Now it's broken!"


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