IVF Definition| Urban Word Dictionary

IVF

In Vitro FertilisationMost people are under the misconception that IVF starts with harvesting eggs from the woman and sperm from the man. It actually starts weeks before that with the woman having to administer daily hormone injections. First these hormones induce a temporary menopause then further injections stimulate the ovaries to develop a number of follicles. This whole process is carefully monitored as serious complications can occur.Only once the follicles are ready are the eggs ripened and then collected in a surgical procedure under sedation or anaesthetic. Sperm is collected at this time and with some luck eggs fertilise and embryos start to develop.After a couple of days (or five if going to blastocyst stage) usually either one or two embryos are placed into the uterus and the couple must wait two weeks to find out if they are pregnant.IVF is a harrowing treatment which many patients describe as an emotional rollercoaster but many infertility patients are more than willing to put themselves through this (often on numerous occasions) in the hope to have a family.

ivf

by Gumba Gumba on May 28, 2004 02:36:23

In Vitro Fertilisation.

In vitro is latin for 'in glass'.

This is a medical process whereby couples having trouble concieving will go recieve help, and concieve without actual intercourse. The male jizzes into a bunch of plastic cups, before the healthy and fast-moving sperm are collected together and crammed in a test tube with ovary produce of the female. After a week or so the female is told to lie on her back before a phallic-shaped tube is rammed deep inside her hole and she recieves some jizz with healthy sperm. This greatly increases chances of fertilisation, but still only 30% of couples concieve. The first "test tube baby" was born Louise Brown in 1978 in the United Kingdom.

The word is sometimes used as an insult

Example:
Your parents had IVF to get you, because your dad has one ball!

IVF mum

by lizly on Nov 23, 2006 14:06:52

40-something first-time mother who's given up a high-flown job and organises her baby mercilessly, feeding it fresh organic veg and buying only the most expensive natural fibre designer clothing. Only the best will do!

Example:
Awww, baby Emily is sooo cute - GOD, is that a non-GE goats-milk latte in her bottle?? What an IVF mum!

IVF mum

by lizly on Nov 30, 2006 13:21:20

40-something first-time "perfect" mother who manages her baby relentlessly, feeding it only the choicest organic veg and dressing it in non-GE natural-fibre designer clothing.

Example:
Look at that poor baby in the 4-wheel drive bio-fuel buggy...OMG is it wearing Armani??? WHAT an IVF mum!

IVF goals

by TheBlueLeo on Apr 19, 2019 01:33:14

A handsome face that a pretty woman would want to IVF with

Example:
Howard Kevin Stern is IVF goals

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