Just the greatest South Park episode hands down.

Saddlebacking - the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities. Named after Saddleback Churh, home of the Reverend Rick Warren, who is a proponent of abstinence education, the "sex ed" that has convinced so many Christian girls and boys that buttfucking isn't actually sex.

(n.) Shane one of the people I could not live without with. Has the most amazing personality ever, beautiful on the outside and inside. Extraordinary in every single way, no one word can sum him up as he is out of this universe. Not even near an angel. Can touch one’s heart so easily, has so much more to him than what meets the eye. His looks are amazing; once you look at his eyes you won’t be able to take your eye off him. One glance could never fulfil your needs. Every little thing he does is so cute even if it’s annoying you can’t be angry at him. I always want to hold his hands; his heart is so warm even though you can’t see it. I love everything about him; from head down to toe is beauty. If I didn’t meet him my life would not be complete, all I need to do is win your heart then I can die happy. Your smile is contagious and your laugh is music to my ears. One of the most important people in my life, think about you all the time. When I’m not talking to you I’m thinking of you, when I am talking to you I want to be with you. Made the biggest impact on my life so far, amazing guy. Could never ask for a better friend, I’ll love you forever even if you don’t feel the same way as me. If you meet someone called Shane -be warned you will want to hold on to him forever.

\hip-stur\n. One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer recommended that one use the term "cool"; a Hipster would instead say "deck.") The Hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and shuns or reduces to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A Hipster ideally possesses no more than 2% body fat.

-The Hipster Handbook, Robert Lanham

A man with an enthusiastic voice, and a beard that nearly rivals that of Chuck Norris. He could advertise any object and make it seem amazing, no matter how useless it is.