hardwood floors

When a woman who has totally removed all her pubic hair. No more "carpet", so it must be hardwood floors.



Hardwood Flooring
Verb: Hardwood Flooring is the act of displaying one's large thick rock hard blood-engorged penis in such a manner that the viewer, usually female, is totally awestruck, or "floored". Hardwood Flooring can be used to jumpstart a relationship, or to entice said viewer to engage the "hard wood" with either the mouth, vagina, or sometimes anus.
Example:
"Man, that bitch at the party was cold as ice, paying no attention to anyone, then a dude got her attention with some Hardwood Flooring. That changed her little tune, alright."

"I had no idea that Lawrence was gay. I mean, I really don't care, but when I saw his response to Hardwood Flooring I was really surprised."


Hardwood Floor
A common mistake among homeowners. These types of floors look pretty, but that's their only benefit. They're freezing cold in the winter, impossible to keep clean, and develop squeaks. They also reflect sound whereas carpet absorbs sound. Carpet is also warmer in the winter, and more comfortable.
Example:
Damn these hardwood floors; I spent 20 minutes on them with a dust mop, and I still see dust bunnies, not to mention stains, and there's new squeaky spots. Next house I get will be all carpet.


Oklahoma Hardwood Floor
when a group of men line there boners up opposite eachother so that they interlock like a hardwood floor.

One side will go balls, head, balls, head; while the other side would be reversed.

After this a woman will walk upon the boners as to incite arousal.

Polishing the floor would be using the cum or lube to slicken up the floor before the woman's procession across.
Example:
Bernice is such a desparate slut. She asked me, Mr. Legs, Thumper, and Swamp Tiger to come over and make an Oklahoma Hardwood Floor, but only Swamp Tiger went.


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