Hafford

Dylan Hafford is the craziest guy you'll ever meet, but he is super sweet and caring and loving. He makes you feel like you're the only girl in the world. He laughs a lot, and everytime he sees you he smiles ear to ear. Dylan is adorable, short, funny, and full of energy.



Hafford
Located at the very ends of the likeability spectrum, the "Good" Hafford family paradigm is, "If we like you, well help you build your camp. If we don't, we'll burn your camp down and bury you behind it." While the "Bad" category could be describe politely as the person (or persons) that will steal everything in your camp, then, at 5 times the price, sell you a broken down generator to replace the stolen wiring.
The Hafford lifestyle largely revolves around a family aspect, at any time, a small army remains at the ready.

Familial Ties include:
- descendants of military beserkers ready to defend family, body, soul, & property

- an alibi for just about any crime¹ including 3rd party witness statements

- shelter
- child rearing assistance
- at least one "lumberjack" meal
- utilization of any operating vehicle and accessories
- assistance in relocating personal belongings, certain cadavers, & items that may (or may not) have been obtained in fair market exchanges
It is common to encounter a Hafford during daily activities due to the large number of genetically related members. "To meet a cousin wherever one goes...." is not an exaggeration in the Hafford lifestyle. A response of "Who wants to know?" to the question "Are you a Hafford?" will confirm identification.

¹Excluding certain degrees of murder and all sexual crimes
Example:
1. "Are you a Hafford?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Hey! Cousin!"

2. "Damn dude, I'm screwed! I beat up Alfred's sister. He's got the Hafford cousins on my ass!"


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