Skunk Ape
The Skunk Ape is one of the most dangerous creatures known to man. The Skunk Ape got its name from its huge body and its awful odor. It lives in the state of Florida, where it has been sighted many times. The Skunk Ape is most deadly in the dark, where it gains all of its powers, in the daytime it is slowed down by its anti-photosynthetic cells. It has lunarsynthetic cells, which when energy is sent to it from the moonlight, its abilities increase
10 fold. With a raging torrent of energy flowing through its body, it is able to
compress it's body and stretch its limbs, bones, and organs, to grab, strangle, and even simulate teleportation, by its fast stretching, it seems as though it has teleported.
The skunk ape reproduces asexually; by
laying eggs, thus limiting its genetic versatility. This is the main reason
the skunk ape has not evolved and retains its ancient mystic powers. The egg of the skunk ape is generally the size of a human head. The egg is green in color, and tends to glow in the dark. When a Skunk Ape is seen the best thing to do is to arm yourself with any type of light.
Flashlights and camera flashes work effectively in this situation, camera flashes stun and blind the skunk ape. The best option is to keep your eye and your light on it, if the light leaves it's fur for one second he could appear behind your back, and it's lights out for you.
Skunk Ape
by KINGLY feetz on Jul 13, 2011 01:52:40
A
foul beast that is hairy like an ape and reeks of desperation. Although
the Skunk Ape can be found throughout the Southern United States, the Skunk Ape predominantly is located in Northern Alabama (the woods to be exact). A typical Skunk Ape will appear quite plump and, more than likely, have a can of
Mountain Lightning in its meaty, furry hand.
Skunk Ape
by Redneckskunkapecatcher on Mar 13, 2009 23:52:49
A
skunk ape is a hairy, stinky animal who roams the hills of
Southen Maryland. A skunk ape tends to deny the fact that they are a skunk ape, often becoming aggressive with his less stinky prey who are only trying to warn others of the dangers surrounding this disgusting creature. Skunk apes generally are named Shawn (Sorry, its just a fact). They also tend to be extreme try-hards who feast
on the blood of un-pubertized female humans
Skunk Ape
by erkawot on Mar 23, 2009 04:20:30
They have been known to wander desperately in need for affection from swamp rats. Due to the season when mating calls, Skunk Apes tend to follow their gut instincts by releasing the powerful odor to attract females. If you are seen when
the Skunk Ape is releasing it's odors it might mistaken you for a mate. To defend yourself, you must place
acorns in your nostrils to distract the beast, lay down in
the fetal position, and think of Disney World.
The Skunk Ape will proceed without showing interest to your mental breakdown.
P.S. - Skunk Apes are dangerous.
Skunk Ape Episode
by dead777 on Jul 22, 2009 22:49:14
Example:
Hey man, did you see last nights
X-Files? Did they get into some crazy
UFO stuff or what?
No man, it was a total Skunk Ape Episode. All they did was wander around in the sewers looking for some
stretch armstrong mother-f'r. Tooms!