harry potter

A series of books that often get compared to Lord of The Rings or Lemony Snicket's, Series of Unfortunate Events but really are nothing like the two.Many people love to critisize the books even if they have never attempted to read them before.



harry potter
a highly overrated book about kid who realises he is a wizard and goes off to a boarding school called Hogwarts.He has two best friends called Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley.He also has an owl called Hedwig. i've read 5 of the books and honestly don't see what all the fuss is about.
Example:
'oMgZZZZ the new HArry P0tter b00k c0mes 0ut s00n,i'm g0nna wait in the rain 0vernight s0 that i can get the first c0py LOL!!!1!!!!1one!!1!1!111!'
'why not just go tomorrow,it's still gonna be on sale..'
'STFU!!11!1!!I l0ve HArry POtter!!1!1!1!!one11!'
me:*bangs head against table*


harry potter
some idiot who thinks he's got special magic powers an goes off trying to find the guy who killed his parents and half the wizard population because he thinks that he is some how stronger than him just cause his name is harry potter.
Example:
hi there! my names harry potter and because I have a cut on my head I can kill the most powerful dark wizard ever!


harry potter
a famous wizard in the wizarding world who survived the most powerful wizard, Voldemort's attack on him, and has a thunderbolt-shaped scar across his forehead, and wears glasses, and has jet black-hair.


harry potter
A series of books originally aimed at children and young adults that has become steadily more popular before being massacred by Chris Coumbus, Steve Kloves (die) and their team of monkeys.

Long series short; 10 year old orphan Harry discovers he's a wizard with the help of a big (really big) hairy bloke, and soon begins his education at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Much wackiness ensues, and he finds himself face to face with the baddie who killed his parents.

See also - "Barry Trotter and The Shameless Parody".

For some reason, people always find the need to compare the Potter series to Lord of The Rings. Why? They're too very different series, and besides, Potter is much better.
Example:
1: Who is this Harry Potter fellow?
2: Pfft. You retarded Muggle.


harry potter
the main character in all the books of the same name. the stories go like this:

harry potter and the philosopher's stone: harry is being happily beaten at home with his ace aunt and uncle (who adopted him, the ungrateful little prick), when he gets yanked away by some fat giant to a wizarding school. Consequently, he gets bullied and the shit beaten out of him my a guy called malfoy. then he beats his arch enemy (some lord called voldermort who kicked dirty wizard ass before that little prick stopped him) by... wait for it... touching him.

harry potter and the chamber of secrets: he goes back to the school and crashes a car on his way. instead of getting expelled, the bitch gets awarded 900 house points. then he kills a cat, but no-one cares cos he's a celebrity, then he kills a snake by pulling a sword out of a hat. the snake bites him, but he doesn't die ebcause a bird starts crying.

harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban: some messed-up dude starts hunting some potter ass, and harry shits his pants. the killer turns out to be his god-father who is on his side, then he turns into a dog and saves harry from a bunch of ninja ghosts that try to tongue harry. then the godfather flies away with this horse/snake/eagle thing.

harry potter and the goblet of fire: he gets entered in a competition by someone, and he cheats his way through, and then he goes into a maze at the end and touches something, which takes him to a place where voldemort is, and a friend who came with him gets his shit messed up and dies. harry shits his pants and almost gets eaten by some snake, then his dead parents become ghosts and eat voldemort, and he runs away back to the maze. then some dude with a glass eye fucks up his shit and almost gets away with it, but instead the very plausible "truth serum" is used and tells all and fills all the plot holes.

the fifth one: he goes to a house, his friend's mum goes on a drug trip and thinks her son is dead, then he goes back to school. at school, he starts hearing voices, the psychotic twat, and then he tells someone his friend's dad is dead. then he runs to the place, and it turns out he was tricked and there's a showdown with all these dirt wizards versus evil, ass-kicking wizards. the evil ones lose but harry's godfather dies by falling into a down a really, really deep hole.
Example:
dumbledore: harry... you've been crap. you wrecked a car, killed a cat, hit a tree, broke the stadium, shat on my foot, ate hermione, and killed that snake. So, I award you with 5007 house points.

harry: what? can you repeat that? sorry, I was humping ron.


harry potter
-The neutral side-

A series of books. Currently 6 books, with the newest being titled: "Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince." The premise is that wizards and witches (and mythical creatures) exist, but are hidden from normal society. Centres around the boy for which the series is named, and his enterprises at a wizarding school.

-The Good Side-

This series is highly inventive, and just what the fantasy genre has needed to dig itself out of a slight rut it's been in for a decade or so. The author, (J.K. Rowling,) has been able to let Harry grow with his readers, with the first book being whimsical and light-hearted, and each succeeding novel become darker and darker, or more mature, whatever one's particular viewpoint is. Another talent that Rowling posesses is the ability to still keep an air of innocence and that same whimsy of the 1st book, with the darker, outer layer of her more recent works.

-The Bad side-

As with many series, there is one group who can make a mockery of said series. One group who always tarnishes the goodstanding and innocence of said series. In this case, this group may be divided into two distinct, but similar sub-species.

The Fangirl. - This is the keening, 15-year-old who partners the two amle protagnoists into gay love-affairs. This wouldn't be so bad, not bad at all, (in my opinion, I've got nothing against homosexuals,) if these pairings weren't of them pouding eachother's asses. The ages of these two people are 16. Or 15, as the new book (as of this post's publishing,) has been out for less than two weeks. They also write the fan-fiction where they themselves for some reason or another are a student at the Wizardry academy, and are somehow romantically entwined with the main character. Through these people, I have lost all faith in mankind.

The wapanese fangirl - Ah, this one. Perhaps worse than the former, this sub-species of fan-girl uses all the homoerotic pairings of their more common cousin, but use the annoying catch-phrases of "yaoi" and "kawaii". As you're more than likely sure, this sub-species jointly connects the wapanese and the fangirls, as obviously stated in the aboe heading. Not only do these ones write fan-fictions, but they also indulge in the homoeroticism of said fiction in comic or manga style. Someone's got a little trouble telling fantasy from reality...

-My Opinion-

Feel free to skip over this part.

No matter how much the "Bad Side" makes it sound, I'm not some christian, white-bread soccer mom out to get gays and people who like anime. I'm just some guy who got fed up..

Anyway. What do I think of the series? If you liked the Lord of The Rings, go for it. The two are distinct, but they'll warm your heart in the same way. Although, again, this is personal opinion, I enjoyed LOTR better than I have enjoyed reading thsi series, but it was a close match.
Example:
"Hey, the new Harry Potter's out. I should go get a copy...but then there's the lines...eh, I'll just wait a few days for it to die down."


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