universe

An infinitely large and infinitely improbable amount of space which, when looked at from a mathematical standpoint, can be said to have no life, civilization, language, art, or anything at all in it. The answer to the whole mess of it all has been calculated to be forty-two, but every attempt to find the actual question has failed miserably, the most noteworthy of which has been the planet Earth. Thoughts on this matter-"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another which states that this has already happened."-Douglas Adams.



universe
The great unknown, undoubtedly aliens living out there, and its scarey just to think how huge it is, the universe is bigger than:

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458459578558768565865858 suns, big eh?
Example:
The Universe is big.


university
Once a mechanism whereby smart people could raise themselves above humble beginnings and obtain a worthwhile qualification indicating a high probability of being employable. Now a complete con to get kids with high hopes into insurmountable amounts of debt before they even think about buying a house.. then they discover that the job they trained for was entirely fictitious, and they'll have to take any job they can get. At this point, they realise they should have gone into benefit fraud and drug dealing like all their "stupid" friends, who now have houses, cars and big screen TVs.
Example:
John always did well in his school classes, and did three A-Levels and got good grades. He went to uni for three years which put him about £30,000 in debt. When he finished his course he found that his degree counted for very little, since he had no experience and the other 400 job applicants also had degrees. He took a job as a sales rep with Coca-Cola, but got fired when he went to an interview for a better job. Meanwhile the cost of living rose exponentially, and by the age of 24, John's debts stood at around £45,000. This was before he even got a mortgage. A couple of years afterwards he divorced his wife on the grounds of infidelity, but she got custody of the kids, and now he doesn't even get to see them despite paying atrocious amounts of child support. Welcome to Blair's Britain.


Universe
All there is.

This is a flexable term, which once was used for what we now call the solar system. Later, it was used for what we call the Milky Way. Now it is used for the sum total of all the galaxies, of which appears to be about ten billion of them.
Example:
The more we learn, the larger our universe seems to get.


university
basically very expensive day care for young adults
Example:
mum: have fun at university son,and don't forget your lunch
and i don't want you playing with that john kid he's a bad influence on you. son: yes mum, can i go round and play at sam's after my class's finish . mum: yes but be home in time for dinner.


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