BEETS

A term Massapequa students use as a practical joke towards one another. Inducing online trauma and remorse. The shame of being "BEETS" 'd promotes social dismay and depression.



The Beets
The best band ever to spring fully formed from a cartoon. More famous songs include "Killer Tofu", "I need more allowance" and "Shout your gums out".
Example:
loser: "Damnit man! I tried to get tickets for The Beets, but they were all sold out!"
loyal fan: "You are a fool."


beet
Commonly found in a certain business park in Scranton, PA (grown locally at one Schrute Farms), the beet is considered by many to be the mother of all vegetables. Not to be eaten raw by non-beet farmers. Fact- Bears eat beets.
Example:
Andy- (bites beet, spits out) You're supposed to cook these, aren't you?

Dwight- (laughs) Cornell. (eats beet)

---------------------------

Jim- Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Dwight- What is going on? What are you doing?

Jim (aside)- Last week, I saw these glasses on sale. $4. And it only cost $7 to create the rest of the ensemble, which adds up to... (uses calculator watch) $11.

Jim- (places bobblehead on desk)

Dwight (shouting) Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!

Jim- (stands up) Michael! (walks into office)

Dwight- Oh, thats funny. (stands up) Michael! (walks into office)

(theme song plays)


The Beets'
That Brittish band from the Doug Funny Show(cleverly titled Doug where they sing stupid songs that get stuck in your head.

The Beets' were the most popular band on the show and were adored by Doug, Skeeter, and Patty.
Example:
The Beets' song #1:
"I need more allowance!"
"Yodelllayheeeehoooooooo."
"Why?!"
"Because I do!"

Little girls Doug and Skeeter: "Ahhhhhh!!!!!! The Beets'!!!!"

The Beets' song #2:
"A-eeeeee-ooooooooo Killer Tofu!"
"Oooooooo-eeeeeeeee-ooooooooo Killer Tofu!"

Little girl Patti wets her pants.


beet
n1: a man's package
n2: a moron or an idiot
v1: to fuck around or slack off
Example:
n1: The boy was playing with his beet.
n2: My brother-in-law is such a beet.
v1: John spent the whole day beeting off.


Beets?
The act of questioning a friend if you would hook up with a certain girl.
Used in code in order to protect the true question. Can be said directly in front of girl.
Example:
"Beets??"
(Walking through the mall, and see a decent looking girl that you need approval of) You would say.....
'Hey bro, Beets?


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