Benjamin
An exuberantly distinguished name to be bestowed on a man of tremendous stature. The recipient of such a name will squash his incompetently anointed peers with ease. This ease will be witnessed in all facets of the Benjamin's life. If Benjamin wants to become a scientist, he will become the first to go to mars. If Benjamin wants to become a football player, he will make Barry Sanders look like a small child. If Benjamin wants to become a writer, he will become the primary source of news, leisure, and the most accurate profit of horoscopes in the history of man. If Benjamin ever orders an escort, the woman will instead offer to pay him when she shows up. These are the fruits of the most singly acclaimed and illustriously renowned word in any of the 6500 spoken languages of the world. The ownership of this title is often debated with the AOS (Association of Steves, Steve), but the BBB (Bafflingly Bodacious Bens) have since disproved the obnoxiously misunderstood claims of the Steves.
Example:
Person 1:Hi.
Person 2: Hello. How are you?
Person 1: Good. I'm Benjamin, its very nice to meet you.
Person 2: (Legs spreading for insertion) Take me now.
"Ben, the president died, do you think you can take the reins for a little while?"
"I wish my name was Ben, but I was stuck with Steve. At least I'm not a Devon"
Person 1:Hi.
Person 2: Hello. How are you?
Person 1: Good. I'm Benjamin, its very nice to meet you.
Person 2: (Legs spreading for insertion) Take me now.
"Ben, the president died, do you think you can take the reins for a little while?"
"I wish my name was Ben, but I was stuck with Steve. At least I'm not a Devon"