One measures with a micrometer, marks with a crayon, and cuts with an axe.

Drinks their way through college for at least four years, playing computer games, smoking pot, masturbating and never having sex, ever. Learns the theory for incredibly complex subjects within one relatively sober week of the exams. Studies one particular subject in another sober week to get a really fancy sounding job that is 1% challenging and 99% telling a technician to press the reset button. Makes a lot of money for doing that and then, of course, starts having a lot of sex.

Gets really annoyed if people don't optimize space utilization when filling a dishwasher.

Knows what every single cable behind your TV is for.

Has a hammer, duct tape, and cable ties close at all times, but is not necessarily a serial killer. Although engineers make great serial killers.

A talented individual responsible for the design and creation of all man-made objects in the known universe, as opposed to a scientist who attempts to make new discoveries about the universe. Engineers do not do much in the way of manual labour; those tasks are allocated to skilled tradesmen. Engineers are involved in the design of everything from oil tankers to staple removers.

For example, a scientist in a lab may discover a new metal with certain properties. An engineer would then take this material, incorporate it into a design, where a welder would then implement it into the machine/device.

Society depends on engineers with their lives just as much as they depend on medical professionals. It is the responsibilty of an engineer to make sure a bridge will stay up, a car will drive straight, and that planes will remain airborne.

Engineering is broken down into many streams. Mechanical engineers would be involved with things in motion, such as a car, or jackhammer. A civil engineer would design bridges and buildings, and other static structures. There are many more streams, which I will not list here.

Often, people without any engineering credentials will append the word "engineer" to their job title. This is because there is a sense of importance attached to the word. Practising engineering without proper certification can get a person sued by a lot of people very quickly.

Engineering is also a term used to describe an action that is similar in nature to engineering, albeit in a non-professional manner. An example of this would be a "social engineer," which is a person that would do something like use a friend's computer to MSN another friend, and start insulting themselves in order to see what that person will say about them.

The perfect superhuman.
Usually ripped on by others for using university for it's original intention, to study.

When arts students come across an engineering student they will usually make a weak attempt at a joke, as they are intimidated by an engineers superior intelligence.

Someone who takes the view that if its broken it should be fixed, if its not broken it needs to be taken apart to find out why, theoretically to make future designs not be broken, really to break it so they can fix it.

In general have advanced math and science skills, engineers solve practical problems and design things, not to be confused with scientists, who discover things, or workmen who make things.

The scientist discovers a new material and its properties, the engineer uses this to design a new building, the workman makes the building.

Often engineers have trouble socializing, this is because they speak and think in numbers, and have tendency to "mental multi-task" i.e. Halfway through a conversation they will devote half their brain to designing a better sort of person to talk to.

Whatever it says, if it doesn't have a degree, its not an engineer, its something that wants to feel important.

A professional with extensive mathematical and scientific skills. Engineering has many different types of careers: civil engineering, structural engineering, mechanical engineering, and so on and so forth.

They are underpaid when compared to other fields such as medicine. That isn't to say that doctors don't deserve those massive paychecks. A medical mistake can kill one person, but an engineering mistake can kill hundreds and thousands of people.

Engineers have heavy burdens to carry, and should be respected. Everything around you was designed by an engineer.

Individuals who seek solutions to their problems, yet create the very problems they seek to solve.

Someone who erects a dispenser
Literally

A profession which has designed and developed everything from cars and planes to computers and cell phones to buildings. Often confused today with mechanics, technicians, and train drivers. Without them it would be back to the caves. They deserve respect.