Fort Bragg

A small tourist town barely surviving from profits mainly generated from marijuana and tourism. A great place to start a family, a great place to visit and an even better place for a slow death if you are in your mid twenty's due to lack of jobs, gainful employment or a college.



Fort Bragg
A dying mill / fishing town situated along the Northern California coast between San Francisco and Eureka. The peeps there are mostly loggers, fishermen, growers, or welfare recipients. The average summertime temperature is 65 degrees and cloudy. Locals refer to anyone not from there as tourists or flatlanders. The women are hot and the men will hand you your ass if you mess with them.
The weed is dank, bro! And our hometown brewery serves up scrimmy-licious Skrimshaw beer, Old #38 Stout, Brother Thelonius Abby Style Ale, Blue Star, and a whole lot more. The local fishermen's haul includes Snapper, Sole, Dungeonous Crab, Albacore, Black Cod, and King Salmon.Home of the California Western Railroad Skunk TrainThe World's Largest Salmon BBQ, the Whale Festival,
the Paul Bunyan Day's parade and Logging Show. They also have an Albert Quinonez.

Also a term used to describe a person who dives for abalone in bad weather, alone, or with a bad heart condition.
Example:
Guy #1 - "Man, sheck out that apple-bottom hottie! She is fine!"
Guy #2 - "F#@k yes! Where is she from anyway?"
Guy #1 - "Somebody said Fort Bragg."

"Did you hear about that Asian dude who drowned last week off Fort Bragg? He was diving in twenty foot seas without a fishing license and Mother Nature totally Fort Bragg'd his ass!"


Fort Bragg Swag
The attitude, lifestyle, dress, and general demeanor of an 82nd Airborne DIV Paratrooper, predominantly seen around Ft. Bragg NC, and characterized by a ferocious 'don't give a fuck' attitude. (See also: badass)

One who exibits Fort Bragg Swag typically comes equipped with mild PTSD and a significant amount of disposable income from combat deployments. He has a chip on his shoulder, a severe thirst for debauchery, and a firm reputation to uphold.

He can usually be found:
A). Driving wrecklessly (sometimes intoxicated) at odd hours of the day.
B). Carrying on obnoxiously loud / vulgar conversations with at least 4 other friends in family restaurants
C). Kicking ass and/or taking names in and around Fayetteville, NC bars
D). Trying to stick his dick in anything that moves. The recreational pursuit of obese women for sport / bragging rights, (See also: Hogging) is a particularly favorite past time.

He treats the world as his blow up doll. Pre-games more than most people drink all night, and generally lives too intensely for any piece of equipment in his life to hold up. .

Fort Bragg Swag means he usually leaves a distinct, contiguous pattern of scarring across the things he touches in all aspects of his endeavor. The scars on his face match the scuffs on his desert boots, the blood on his gloves, the notches on his bed post, the gashes in the wood of his favorite guitar and so forth.
Example:
<Army chick> My boyfriend is such a fuckin' asshole, I had to pick him up this morning, the Cops found him passed out with two chicks in the water of a water hazard on a golf course.

"What a fucking dick!!"

"Yeah but girrrrll tonight he popped a couple of study buddies and violated me in ways most men only dream about."

"Daaaamn, can you hook me up w/ some of his friends, girrrll?? I need that kinda Fort Bragg Swag in my life."

<82nd dude #1> "Bro, this weekend was fuckin' balls out insane. We got shit tanked at Chilis, I laid 3 chicks, we got in a fuckin fight in the strip club parking lot, I pissed on a homeless dude, busted off a full magazine at that big ass water tower off All American FWY, I got kicked out of 3 different bars and we got the cops called on us for riding our 4 wheeler through a residential neighborhood at 5am."

<82nd dude #2> "Jesus f'n Christ, That's fuckin' badass! How are you still alive?"

<82nd dude #1> "Don't judge me, dog, it's that Fort Bragg Swag. You've seen me in the shower, you know how good my cock looks in my 82nd Airborne Reenlistment shorts.....So you ready for this run??"


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