engineer
"To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that
if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." -
Scott Adams, The
Dilbert Principle
engineer
by Gunder on Jan 27, 2007 02:08:34
A person capable of making things work in
unfathomable and near-magical ways. Generally possesses extreme levels of mechanical
aptitude plus a formal education including large
doses of applied math, physics and chemistry which he actually understands. Can perform calculations without using a calculator. Often builds his own mechanical devices from loose parts for self-amusement. A modern day witch. Often has difficulty relating to people because ideas on new and better ways of doing things are constantly
flooding into his/her mind. In many cases just bringing an engineer into a room containing broken equipment causes the equipment to start working again.
Example:
One day an engineer found himself at the pearly gates.
St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for
the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail. About 6 weeks later God reviews the lists and realizes that the engineer has been sent to the wrong place. So he rings up Lucifer and demands that the engineer be sent up. Lucifer says NO WAY. This guy was the best thing to ever happen here. He's got the AC working, we have running water and cable now too, and next week he thinks we will get internet access and an ice cream machine. God is pissed and yelling says "I'll sue". Lucifer says
LOL where are you going to get a lawyer and hangs up.
engineer
by Douglas Weltman on Jun 23, 2003 11:09:29
A
kick-ass uber-genius with
godly math and science abilities, the training for
wich being at the expence of those abilities for spelling and talking to members of the opposite sex.
engineer
by victorhadin on Mar 26, 2003 06:07:06
1) More useful to society than an insurance
salesman.
2) More useful to the arms industry than a
big bucket of
grenades.
3) More likely to use statistics than 345% of the population.
4) Enjoys overcomplicating things.
engineer
by LON Master 000 on Feb 05, 2009 13:36:59
One who often finds himself in the middle of the battlefield collecting metal and building machines (such as teleporters) to help ensure victory. Arch enemy of the spy. Common phrases include; "
Teleporter goin up" "
Sentry goin up" and "SPY
SAPPIN MY
SENTRY!"
Example:
You: Hey engineer, keep checking your back. There's a
spy around.
Me: Thanks, HEY,
SPY SAPPIN MY SENTERY!