Safeway's

the shittiest company i have ever worked for



Safeway

by jim jo bob on Nov 02, 2005 08:52:50

The shittiest place anyone could dare work. Synonomous with flamboyant douchebaggery, started by a man with the last name "Skaggs". Forced customer service regime and secret shoppers, workers who do not comply will be executed and sold as safeway select potted meat. Pay is below minimum wage and one may expect to have a throng of mentally handicapt co-workers. Three minute lunch breaks are permitted; one usually has to order food from the "service deli" inhabited by stoned fucktards and sandwiches made of decaying human entrails. Shitty value, high prices, fucktard co-workers, and shitty health care. Safeway sucks!
Example:
"Bo Jim, that retard you remember from school, is your manager at Safeway."
"That fucking safeway select sandwich i eat opened a vons chain in my small intestine."
"The safeway service deli food is to decaying human remains that arbys is to roadkill."


safeway

by Someguy22 on Oct 18, 2006 13:48:59

A crappy grocery store that sells stuff at rediculously high prices. The only cool thing about safeway is that alot of them dont have any security alarms and cameras. Making it a good place to score some free stuff.
Example:
I just made a beer run at safeway yesterday and got away with it because they're too cheap to put up security systems


safeway

by Employee on Nov 30, 2003 21:51:14

Safeway (3rd Planet in the Supermarket Solar System)
Population: 200 poorly paid employees, 20 young wannabes with nothing to but hang out at a supermarket on a Saturday night, 10 angry old people with stupid questions, 50 or so middle aged soccer mum species who consider themselves to be the most superior species on the planet, and 5 to 6 managers wandering aimlessly doing nothing.
Orbit: Around the planet is a vast asteroid like field of 4WD Class Space ships piloted by soccer mums. Extremely hostile and dangerous! Take caution!
Environment: Employees are regularly subjected to the hostile natives and are forced to endure seasonal carol music non-stop for a month.
Recommendation: Avoid AT ALL COSTS!
Example:
"I got past the Soccer Mum asteroid field only to be rammed to death by a roving granny with a walking frame!"


Safeway

by Fenwick Island on Apr 06, 2010 08:54:56

To screw up your schedule every week. To have only two aisles open even though there are eight. To have zero tolerance for any physical contact expect right handed handshakes. This includes consensual hugging, kissing, pat on back, between co-workers, vendors, friends, family members, and even fiancees and spouses. They consider this sexual harassment even though hugging is not sexual. This is rule fit for boot camps or prisons, and communist countries like Cuba, N Korea, Vietnam. This policy increases chances of drug abuse, depression, and work place violence and decreases employee chemistry due to oxytocin deficiency, bonding and cuddle hormone. Safeway slogan ingredients of life. Better slogan ingredients for oxytocin deficiency and poor worker chemistry. No employee has rogue's super powers.
Example:
I have class on Tues and Thurs between 8 Am and 3:15 Pm. They schedule me 12 pm to 4 pm. They schedule me on Saturdays 4 to 9 more often than not. I hugged a depressed girl the store says I committed sexual harassment even though the touching wasn't sexual. I wasn't her client I am not in a position of authority over her. Most people who hug children aren't pedophiles. They don't molest strangers or out in the open public. They wait until the child and family trust them. You risk long term unemployment if you work for safeway even when there is no recession.


safeway

by Iamnotaboganforfuxsake on Jul 11, 2008 08:43:20

Where the Bogans shop
Example:
Tracey: will you fuckin' kids shut the fuck up; Im buying some VB and wini blues and then we can get the fuck out of safeways

Shazza: Hey Tracey you old crack whore; what the fuck are you doing in safeways? The fuckin' footys on for fucks sake you bloody Bogan

Tracey: That prick Dazza sent me out for some piss and durries; the fuckin magpies are getting flogged anyway; fuckin team of Bogans


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