Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Lead guitarist of
Dethklok from Sweden, the world's tallest guitarist, and the fastest guitarist alive, though he can't read music. He claims this is because he has 'music dyslexia.' He has a strong Swedish accent, putting "s"'s at the end of many words he says. Skwisgaar, not having a father, was raised by his mother Serveta Skwigelf, Miss Sweden of 1956. Skwisgaar's frustration at his mother's sexual promiscuity is expressed through extremely fast guitar fingering. He is seen practicing his guitar almost constantly everywhere he goes. It is a possibility that he is ambidextrous. He seems to dislike the Danish but confuses them with the Dutch. Skwisgaar seems to be the most sexually active member of the band. Skwisgaar also seems to hold little importance on the physical appearance of sexual partners, as he has been seen
propositioning an elderly grandmother for sex as well as sleeping with a very obese woman. This is possibly because his mother was extremely sexually promiscuous. He has been in a large number of bands prior to joining Dethklok, including Agnostic Priest, Gangagar Eldeleel-Alele, Gognog Mug Alugdug, Fuckface Academy, Sausage Assassin,
Financially Raped, and
Smugly Dismissed to name a few. Skwisgaar also refers to things he hates as dildos. His hands are apparently
insured for ten billion dollars,
one billion for each finger.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf Syndrome
by SomeBadJOKE on Apr 15, 2007 07:10:19
When you can no longer play
guitar slowly because you're so used to playing fast (I.E.
shredding) that if you were to start playing slow, you'd
automatically lose your touch
Example:
"You want me to play THAT simple
piece??
Hah!"
*tries to, but finds himself going unreasonably fast*
"
What the hell?? I can't!! I must have Skwisgaar Skwigelf Syndrome.."