Whalen Wax
Only for use with women who have abundant upper lip facial hair. After vigorous fellatio, pull out of the woman's mouth, deposit a "
Got Milk?"-style mustache of semen from edge to edge of the mustache, and allow to dry. Once dry, and presumably, while still restraining said
mustachioed female from cleaning her face off, violently rip the hair and encrusted
love sauce from her upper lip, leaving skin as soft as a baby's bottom.