advisor

Advisors are the highest-ranking aliens on Half-Life. Their body shape is worm-like and they have robotic devices to enhance their abilities. They have a long, disgusting, long tongue that can inject into numerous materials (e.g. flesh, skin etc. etc.) And it's probably how they feed themselves. They have the ability to levitate and fly. They have telekinetic powers as they can crush, pull/push things with their mind. They have a weird, ancient-looking collar around their... Neck? Anyways, It has some strange signs and it probably means something, meh.



Service advisor
Worst possible job in a dealership in which everything is your fault, people curse you daily and your coworkers are worthless.
Example:
Hey man lets go fuck with a service advisor today and make his job even harder than it already is!


Financial Advisor
A person who learns about money only to find that people make random emotional decisions. The sacrificial lamb of the urban jungle. When financial markets are up, even the most ignorant advisor looks like a hero. When markets are down, the most professional and savvy advisor will be trash talked, fired and sued.
Example:
Hey, how come you're driving that piece of crap car?

I was a financial advisor in 2008.

Hey, who's that guy in the Mercedes?

That was a financial adviser who retired in 2007.


Academic Advisor
A faculty member of your university purportedly assigned to help students plan their course schedules to fit each student's degree and career plans but who are not required to know or provide accurate information regarding available courses, pre-requisites, required courses, course alternatives, etc. and often supply advice that ends up being detrimental to the student.

Side of "academic advising" include:

Taking one or more classes that are unnecessary and ending up taking 5 years to earn a 4 year degree.

Realizing 2 weeks before graduation that you could have graduated a semester early if it weren't for that "career exploration" class you took freshman year that your advisor recommended you take to "discover your calling" or "meet people in your major."

Realizing that those transfer credits actually could have transferred and you did not need to re-take that class.
Example:
My academic advisor said I had to take a full year of underwater basket weaving courses for my degree, turns out I don't and now I won't graduate this semester.

My advisor screwed me over, I'll never the mistake of taking his advice again.


financial advisor
A person, usually male, who lives in a really nice home, drives a really nice car, usually has a wife who doesn't work. All his possessions are due to the money he makes off of his clients when he buys and sells funds using their money. The advise he gives is to benefit himself and not you. Do yourself a favor and keep your money in the bank.
Example:
I used to have a small fortune in my port folio, then I took the advise of a financial advisor. Now he has half my money, and I don't have a pot to piss in.


Resident Advisor
An online dance music magazine which keeps society in check by reminding us that German minimal techno is the only type of music worth bothering with.

It has saved millions of lives by warning the population away from sophisticated music with actual melodic content.

Its main headquarters can be found in Berlin, due to the German capital being the only city in the world to have nightclubs.

Richie Hawtin can sometimes be seen around the building carrying a copy of Traktor, and being harrassed by literally thousands of worshippers who really know what is important when it comes to music.
Example:
Thank fuck for Resident Advisor - the ultimate be-all-and-end-all of dance music journalism.


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