colonoscopy

The science of sticking a camera in the anus to find problems withing the digestive system.



colonoscopy
A medical excuse to anally rape an individual while simulaneously searching for problems with the digestive tract.
Example:
Tom's colonoscopy revealed he had a cyst in his small intestine.


Colonoscopy
The over-use of smilies, often as an entire message in an SMS or instant messaging. The reason for the word being called "Colonoscopy" is that most smilies utilise the colon symbol ":".
Example:
Perry: What do you think of that movie?
Timothy: :) :/ :( :P :S :D
Perry: Stop that colonoscopy, fool!


virtual colonoscopy
A one-on-one meeting with a supervisor who exhibits particularly severe micro-managerial tendencies. Unlike a real colonoscopy, a virtual colonoscopy is generally performed without the benefit of a sedative or pain medication, thus resulting in considerable psychological trauma post-procedure.
Example:
1. Hey Bill, I gotta run off to see my manager. It's time for my weekly virtual colonoscopy (VC).

2. Boy, my virtual colonoscopy was even worse than usual this week.


semi-colonoscopy
Examining and editing text for the overuse of semi-colons.
Example:
His writing was concise; it was lyrical; but it had too many semi-colons. It required a semi-colonoscopy.


colonoscopy backsplash
When you're giving a colonoscopy, and the patient voluntarily or involuntarily releases gas and/or fluid, resulting in a "backsplash."
Example:
Guy 1: How was work? Knock out a lot of colonoscopies today? You are a colonoscopist right?
Guy 2: That's not a thing, but yeah, unfortunately it wasn't great though.
Guy 1: Why??
Guy 2: Well, one of my patients ate way too much Carl's Jr. and I had to deal with mad colonoscopy backsplash. I don't think my shirt will ever be the same.


Columbian Colonoscopy
v. The act of opening the brown eye of someone very special using a gynecological speculum, sprinkling some nose candy into the dark hole, then packing it in with your hard flesh arrow.
Example:
Vanessa: "Ouch! my ass is still hurting and my heart is pounding! What happened last night?"

Manuel: "Actually, a whole gang of us decided to give you a Columbian Colonoscopy... You're Welcome!"

Vanessa: "Oh that makes sense."

Manuel: "By the way, you owe me 20 bucks for the coke."

Vanessa: "Lame!"


psychological colonoscopy
A tedious event where a person or a group of people interrogate someone to find out everything there is to know about their life history and future aspirations. It is often performed by a group of women on the new boyfriend of a girlfriend or by parents on a potential daughter-in-law or son-in-law.
Example:
It was a rough night, man. I got a psychological colonoscopy from my boo's girlfriends when they found out I had been to prison. mentally stressed, psychologically evaluated, interrogated, questioned


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