merkel

Verb. To perform an unsolicited shoulder massage.



merkeled
when someone fucks something up beyond repair
Example:
Ora really merkeled that excel sheet.


Merkeled
Merkeled is a term for sexual assault by Islamic immigrants. It usually involves sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration perpetrated against a kafir (disbeliever of Allah) and without that person's consent. The term originated in Germany, after mass rapes were carried out due to the huge influx of Islamic immigration which was enabled by Angela Merkel.
Example:
"Yo Jurgen, check out dat milf in ze short skirtzen!"
"Ja, she better cover up, or she will getten merkeled by the sand zombies."


Merkeling
Giving someone an unwanted shoulder rub, or more generally any sort of unwanted touching, especially between coworkers/peers/people who need to interact with each other regularly. Named for the time that George W. Bush 'Merkeled' Angela Merkel.
Example:
"Ugh, Kevin started Merkeling Tim in a meeting. Poor Tim. And Kevin still had soup all over himself!”


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