englishman's

Someone who lives on an island in the North Sea governed by Scots.



Dirty Englishman
One must either brew, or mix, his tea in the girl's vagina. This is the most primitive form of teabagging in its most literal form. Once the tea of choice has been properly made, enjoy the rewards and have a sip of the Dirty Englishman.
Example:
At tea time I gave me girl a dirty englishman, she mixed it up real well. Next time I'm going to need a Filthy Crumpet


An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman
A collection of jokes known mostly by residents of the United Kingdom which involve a man from England, Scotland and Ireland. The jokes are commonly long and end up with the Irishman being made a fool of or making the pun of the joke.

The jokes rarely involve Wales. Lucky Buggers.
Example:
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all invited to a Christmas party. In order to get into the party, they must bring something relevant with Christmas. On the day, the Scotsman turns up with a Christmas tree, so he is allowed in. The Englishman turns up and brings a cracker, so he allowed in aswell. Eventually the Irishman turns up also, holding a pair of ladies underwear. The guard at the door asks him, "What have they got to do with Christmas?"

The Irishman replies, "They're Carols".


The New York Englishman
The act of not washing your balls for a month, in order to built a tasty crust over your balls. Then your partner drinks hot water and you proceed to dip your balls inside their mouth in order to create a tasty tea.
Example:
Drink some hot water so I can make The New York Englishman with you.


an Englishman's diet
Drab, Dry, Shit, Boring, And Terrible.
Example:
Guy 1: I love the colour grey!
Guy 2: The fuck you talking about? That colour is like an Englishman's diet


Englishman
A man who thinks he’s above everyone else due to his country’s rich history(which he had nothing to do with)

9/10 a waste of sperm but sometimes it will produce someone good such as Freddie Mercury, Shakespeare and Gordon Ramsey.

Unfortunately successful civilians rarely popup in a country that is only liked by its own dwellers.

Englishmen are currently confused with Welsh and Scottish men however, you can tell the difference between them with 3 easy facts.

1.Unlike the Welsh and Scottish, Englishman usually smell like fish, cigarettes or diarrhoea, typically having all the scents at different parts of the body.
2. If you ask an Englishman a question, when they answer and open their mouths, look at their teeth. If there seems to be mold growing on their molars, asparagus in between their front teeth and they’re all point in different directions, you have 100% got an English man. Welsh and Scottish generally have much cheaper dental care than the English.
3. If they’re bald, skinny, pale as the rake and don’t have any colour in their eyes, you have found a type of Englishman who makes up around 30-40% of the male population. Examples of this are: Bald Martin, Jack Wiltshire and Phil Foden in about 20 years.

I hope this gives you a brief understanding about the typically aggressive locals of England. Please don’t get them mixed up with their chad counterparts(Wales and Scotland)
Example:
Errrrr- he’s got bunny teeth that point in all directions, his breathe smells of cigarettes and poo, him sweat patches smell of sardines. HE MUST BE AN ENGLISHMAN


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